UnNews:UnEditorial: When will Obama fight back against Monster Truck attacks?

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search


UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

27 January 2009

Barack Obama has been President for one week now, and the UnEditorial Board of UnNews is deeply troubled by the 44th Presidents lack of urgency in addressing the matter of attacks on Americans by Monster Trucks.

In the last week, two Americans have lost their lives in senseless Monster Truck Attacks.

These attacks have happened without provocation.

In one attack, a harmless child-spectator died when the Monster truck refused to obey its human master. The truck lurched into the grand stands, to feed on the body of a Colorado boy who was doing nothing but enjoying the show. His father, who was enjoying a box of popcorn witnessed the carnage. He is now a patient in a therapeutic community.

With the most recent attack, an Ohio man who friends said Knew his way around monster trucks," died when the truck attacked without warning - its normally loud dual 1,000 inch V-10's were whisper quiet as the truck was being moved from a parking spot to a waiting area.

The truck's master said that he could not see the man who was his friend, but heard the screams and crushing of human bones like dry twigs as the truck's eight foot high mud tires took their revenge on the mans body.

To die alone, surrounded by thousands of people, is bad enough. But to die in Wisconsin? There is no making sense of the senseless.

The death toll stands at two.

Oh, the humanity.

However, President Obama's failure to reign in the controls over monster trucks is inexcusable. What exactly has the President of United States been doing over the past week while American blood has been shed so senselessly?

While Obama was enjoying the splendor of the White House Americans died deaths that they should never have died from.

If President Barack Obama expects a long honeymoon with the American people, he had better step up to the plate on getting monster trucks back under control, or he may not have a nation to preside over.

It is time for the President to show this country that he can deal with this, his first real crisis, and stop these once gentle giants before they kill, and kill again.

External links[edit | edit source]