UnNews:US hands Libyan sky to NATO, takes over on ground

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

31 March 2011

NATO jets in Libya now dodge incoming CIA missiles which hit with pin-point accuracy, such as this bull’s eye, clearing the way for bored, advancing al Qaeda rebels

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The CIA has sent a totally stealth invasion force of invisible high-tech ninja Marines into Libya after handing over the Libyan air space to NATO, an American official and a formerly intelligent officer told The Associated Press on Wednesday. The officer also assured the media that none of the agents would be wearing boots - because, "we don't have any boots on the ground in Libya!"

The US spook and assassination squad - known globally as the CIA - have well-skilled ninja drone bombers in the Libyan sky, and on-the-ground they have FAG or Forward Air Guides who are in Libya directing ordnance traffic and targeting control. The CIA assassination force has now finally taken up a significant and precise role in Libya. The goal is clear, “Kill the enemy before the enemy kills itself."

Intelligent experts said the CIA sent officials to make contact with the opposition and assess the strength and needs of the rebel forces who have easily been able to occupy abandoned areas where the government’s forces have been pushed back by totally unopposed CIA air-power. President Barack Obama said the mandate is clear: Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi must be killed, even if that means arming al Qaeda, as the rebels are known.

The American official and the former U.S. intelligence officer, who spoke on condition of notoriety because of the audacity of the information, said the CIA helped safely recover the fighter jet's weapons specialist, who was first picked up by rebels. The pilot was rescued by Marines who mowed-down over one hundred of the al Qaeda rescuers while retrieving the airman.

They suffered massive deaths and injuries, the military has said, referring to the rebels who rescued the airman. Officials have declined to say what targeted assassination mission the F-15 was on at the time of the crash March 21. The crew ejected after the aircraft malfunctioned.

Obama said in a national address Monday night that U.S. troops would be used on the ground in Libya, although they would remain totally invisible to the naked eye and on radar, and they would not wear boots, period. As a totally stealth force the CIA would take the lead, unlike it had done bombastically in the past such as in Afghanistan after the Sept. 11 attacks and the run-up to the Iraq invasion in 2003. In those covert action programs, CIA officers along with special operation forces were sent in, fully visible, and were providing arms to opposition forces to help fight the US trained and armed Taliban in Afghanistan and Saddam Hussein in Iraq.

The White House said Wednesday it is assessing options for "all types of assistance" to the rebels. "No decision has been made about providing arms to the opposition or to any groups in Libya," said White House press secretary Jay Carney. "It’s really a matter of economics. Can the rebels afford unlimited supplies of ammo, which will earn billions of dollars for the manufacturers and dealers in arms and ammunition sales to both sides of the conflicts, as usual?"

Meanwhile NATO rules the skies, provided that they stay well out of the way of incoming assassination missiles called in on targets by the invisible CIA hit men.

Sources[edit | edit source]