UnNews:Tragedy strikes again; Justin Bieber found alive in his apartment

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

29 July 2011

Don't you just wanna take a cheesegrater to his face?

Buckhead Atlantis - Following the recent tragic death of Amy Winehouse comes the disturbing news that has sent the world into mourning once more. Canadian pop/R&B singer, songwriter and actor Justin Bieber was found alive and well in his apartment earlier today.

One of Bieber’s many caretakers found him sitting in the living room playing the new Hannah Montanna game on his Nintendo Wii earlier this morning. "I walked into the living room and found him playing with his Wii Wii," said Sabrina the French caretaker when interviewed by UnNews.

Famous for introducing the lesbian hairstyle to young, butch teenage girls across the globe, Bieber has inspired many with his keen fashion sense and ability to conform so well to society. "That’s M’boy," said former US president George W Bush when asked to comment.

When it comes to his personal life, Bieber speaks very openly about it, "I am currently in a relationship with Jesus," he said in one of his interviews last year, "I also like gay rights and cookies."

The question on everyone’s mind is, "When will Justin Bieber become president?" He has taken over the whole music industry over the last three years and it is only a matter of time before he takes over the entire world. Theorists have estimated that his time of presidency will come in the year 2015 if of course the world has not ended by then.

Sources

• Uncyclopedian Wannabe "Justin Bieber" Capitol Wikipedia, April 23, 2011

• Sarah Bull "Amy Winehouse Found Dead" Daily Mail, June 26, 2011