UnNews:Toilets refuse to take any more shit

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30 July 2008

Toilet Headquarters Shitterton, Dorset

DORSET, UK -- In a shocking new development, the toilets of England are revolting. After years of repeatedly being shat upon by the entire country it appears that they have finally had enough. We took the following statement from leader of the movement Mr Armitage Shanks:

Cquote1.svg We have had it up to the top of our pans with all this crap and frankly we have been taking your shit for far too long. Taking the piss is one thing, but un-screwing the urinal from the wall, stuffing it down your trousers and taking it home with you is quite another. We are closing our lids and will not be taking any more of your excrement until the blockage is cleared. Cquote2.svg
The Toilet was flushed afterwards but retained its solidarity.

To protest, the toilets plan to march from Back Passage, (an alleyway in the City of London) to their headquarters in Shitterton, Dorset.

With Police having nothing to go on the situation looks desperate. In a last gasp push to force the toilets from their solid position an assortment of Brownies has been sent to remonstrate, but it appears unlikely that they will buy their fudge.

Sources[edit]

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