UnNews:Snakes on a Plane receives no Oscar consideration
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
25 January 2007
HOLLYWOOD, California -- The Samuel L. Jackson movie and meme, Snakes on a Plane, was nowhere in sight Tuesday when the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announced their 2007 Oscar nominees. They didn't even get a nod for the movie's theme song, "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)" by Cobra Starship. Fans of the movie are now in an uproar over the snub. Says Joseph Schmo of Norman, Oklahoma, "What's the deal here? Snakes on a Plane is obviously the greatest movie of all time, and yet nobody recognizes it as such. They think it's just a fad, but we will show them a thing or two."
A petition was started by director David Ellis, who was too busy sobbing like a little girl to comment on this story. However, Jackson and co-star Kenan Thompson have issued statements. Thompson said, "This is an injustice to the art of motion pictures! Just look at them snakes, they're everywhere! Some people have little or no taste in high quality films. Sign the petition, it's worth it." Jackson agreed with Thompson referencing his own profanity from the ill-fated movie, "I've had with these muthafucking voters snubbing muthafucking films!"
Samuel Jackson, a neo-muslim, co-wrote the documentary on what really happened on 911. The sideplot is based on the theroy of snakes getting on planes to avoid the affect of global warming at lower altitudes
Samuel L. Jackson has also issued a statement, one that involved much usage of the F-Word. But due to the fact that Uncyclopedia is a family internets website, we won't post that here.
The AMPAS responded to the harsh criticism, reasoning, "Dick Cheney made us do it! He threatened to shoot us in a 'quailing accident' if we didn't comply."
The movie sparked an Internet phenomenon, even going as far as being banned from VFH for being nominated too many times. Jackson commented saying, "The article truly is crap that needs to be fixed as soon as possible." Then the hype led up to the film having underperformed at the box office in August 2006, despite being the number 1 movie in America. The movie is now available on DVD, but has otherwise disappeared off the face of the earth like that Dark Shadows episode.
Cobra Starship lead singer Grace Slick said that she is "devastated" by the snub, especially for the song. "It's one of the greatest songs ever written, next to Van Halen's 'Eruption' and 'Popozao' by Kevin Federline.
The AMPAS has yet to release an official statement, but it is believed they will reprise Samuel L. Jackson's muthafucking profanity.
At this moment, Richard Simmons has no input on this topic except for this one brief statement: "I'm tired of these motherfuckn' people thinking I'm motherfuckn' gay!" His spokesperson Jar Jar Binks was unavailable for comment.