UnNews:Senate to vote on whether to restore net neutrality

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THE MANAGEMENT

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

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Captiol Hill will be voting this week on whether to restore net neutrality.

CAPITOL HILL, Washington -- This week, the Senate is expected to vote on whether to override the FCC's decision to end net neutrality, a costly mistake that has killed off whatever credibility the FCC and Ajit Pai still had, which wasn't much to begin with. It's one thing to actively keep the words "fuck" and "shit" off the airwaves; it's another to destroy the very concept of internet freedom. I'd hate to sound like a broken record, broken record, broken record, broken record... Sorry.

I'd hate to sound like a broken record, but this is a very important issue that I have already covered in two previous articles. Everything you see or do on the internet could be effected by the FCC's misguided and wrongheaded decision.

What are you doing reading Uncyclopedia anyway? Wikipedia is better, and they're paying AT&T more money. Why not visit them instead? And if you want humor, The Onion is paying Comcast more than Donald Trump/Michael Cohen/Russian oligarch Viktor Vekselberg paid to Stormy Daniels... let alone more than Cohen's newly-discovered $500,000 from Viktor Vekselberg.

Why are you using the bathroom at Denny's? The one at McDonald's is much nicer (and pays us better). Use that one instead.

See where I'm going with this? You can't just restrict access to a website just because a competitor pays more, or they criticized you, or they support a different politician than you (even if said "politician" is a Republican, or worse, Trump). We need the internet to be free and open, no strings attached.

Speaking of No Strings Attached, it's time for the Senate to step up to the plate and tell the FCC "Bye Bye Bye."

It ain't no lie.

Senate votes 52-47 to restore net neutrality[edit]

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

CAPITOL HILL, Washington -- Today, the Senate voted 52-47 to override the FCC's decision to end net neutrality, a costly mistake that has killed off whatever credibility the FCC and Ajit Pai still had, which wasn't much to begin with. Next stop, the House of Representatives (oh boy), and then if we're lucky, it will land on Orange Julius's desk to sign. Stranger things have happened.

Sources[edit]

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