UnNews:Scottish independence debate turns nasty

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Friday, July 11, 2014

Candidates for the Scottish team revealed the official games motto: Och aye.

The debate over Scottish independence has descended into an exchange of dirty tricks as the referendum draws closer.

The escalation in aggressive tactics began last week, when Scotland's ridiculous uniforms for the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow 2014 (above left) were revealed to be an act of sabotage on the part of the pro-union Better Together campaign.

Scottish National Party (SNP) leader Alex Salmond condemned the act, saying, "This is a cowardly attempt to exploit people's fears that an independent Scotland will be nothing but shortbread, kilts, and red-headed men wearing Tartan tam o'Shanters. That's a half truth."

However, the nationalists have not been able to maintain the moral high ground for very long. On BBC's flagship discussion show Question Time, the SNP clearly placed a stooge in the audience who described himself - in a voice which could generously be described as semi-fluent - as a fervent Unionist.

The ridiculous "loyalist" paid by the independence campaign.

"I am... born in Inverness, I’m a passionate Highlander, and I love Scotland," a man calling himself 'Nigel' said. "And I will take a stand to keep the United Kingdom together. I will give my life ...for my country as... my... grandfather did in... the s-... the First World War, and his brother Charlie... Highland Regiment! BRITISH ARMY! I AM ... BRITISH FOREVER! WE WILL NEVER... NEVER CHANGE! WE WILL... KEEP OUR UNION TOGETHER IN THE NAME OF JESUS!"

Viewers were initially deceived by the actor - with many noting the convincing "pro-union" style argument of "never, ever changing". However, his reference to Jesus immediately led to some scepticism on Twitter, and 'Nigel' was later revealed to be Northern Irish character actor Norman Talbot.

Norman told UnNews, "I wasn't too keen on the gig, but I have been going through a bit of a dry patch recently, and I needed the cash.

"It's not my finest work, it was a kind of a last minute thing with very little time to learn the lines, and on top of that it was live on TV. I got nervous and kind of fluffed my way through my lines. That Jesus thing wasn't really supposed to be part of it, but I started to say 'in the name of' and I couldn't think who the Union would actually be in the name of. So I just said Jesus."

The Better Together campaign described the stunt as "a new low for negative SNP scare tactics". Jesus was not available for comment.

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