UnNews:Scientists discover genes of internet subcultures, proves that bronies are only 20% human

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

2 December 2013

One of the volunteers who engaged in this test for human genes.

Hong Kong, China -- A scientific report made by the Anti-Faggotry Research Organization of Hong Kong has recently done a research on many internet subcultures and has extracted the blood samples of multiple test subjects. According to the research on the samples, astounding discoveries were found. Here are all the results of the research:

• Master troll: 75% human, 25% god
• Fail troll: 100% human
• Wikia staff: 50% human, 50% demon
• Jimbo Wales: 70% demon, 30% human
• Weeaboo: 30% human, 70% faggotry
• Furry: 25% human, 75% faggotry
• Brony: 20% human, 80% faggotry
• Lauren Faust: 50% faggotry, 50% demon
• Larry Probst: 100% demon

When asked for an explanation, The Anti-Faggotry Research Organization of Hong Kong explained:

“ The reason that fail trolls are 100% human is because as long as they are not a member of faggotry, and will forever remain human as long as they continue to fail. They will never gain god status and they never will. As for Wikia staff, they are indeed Hell spawn taking the form of humans and compel extreme obedience as they are attempting in all the slave wikis they control. The same goes for Jimbo Wales and his generals. No explanation was required for furries and weeaboos, and the worst being the brony, who brings in the most ruin. Lauren Faust wasn't even human to start with, as her human genes were lost due to the possession of Mr. Hand's ghost. And Larry Probst is obviously a conqueror from Hell. ”