UnNews:Sandy Hook school choir accused of miming

4 February 2013

Jennifer Hudson, who performed all over the choir, said: "I was right there in front of them I didn't hear one of them kids sing a goddamn note."

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana -- Members of the Sandy Hook school choir, who brought millions of SuperBowl viewers to tears with their rendition of America The Beautiful, have reacted suspiciously to claims that they lip-synched their performance.

"I'm not interested in confirming or denying the accusations," said Miss Honey, their music teacher. "The important thing about this was the performance - these children stood up tall, they showed that life will go on, regardless of the evil that exists in the world. Whether they sang beautifully, or were so tone deaf they had their microphones switched off, is neither here nor there."

The rumor started after Sign Language Performer and national treasure Tanny Whitetooth told the press afterwards, "I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to hear the kids with all the crowd noise, but it turns out they just played a voice track which I could hear great through the monitors."

The organizer of the event, Phillip Collins, did nothing to dispel the claim, saying "We pre-recorded all music as a matter of course and have done since time immemorial. This is the SuperBowl. Research has shown that if viewers are given the choice between a live performance that sounds like shit, or a pre-record that sounds perfect, they will take the CD all day."

One of the students, a 10 year old girl who asked to remain anonymous, told us: ""There was no opportunity for us to rehearse with the band before the show so we didn't sing live. You guys might think it was just some hokey moment with a school choir, but we are perfectionists - if we go into a show without being sure everything is going to be just right, we don't do it. We'll prove ourselves at the Oscars - wait till you see our version of Ace of Spades."

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National treasure Whitetooth at the game, making viewers wonder why anyone would kill anyone.

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Last modified on 25 May 2014, at 21:04