UnNews:Robin Williams commits seppuku
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
11 August 2014
Who would have known? The Robin, the William, the Flubber Genius, the comedian Robin Williams has pulled the plug on his life. Not only did this creepy-looking famous comedian/actor/porn star steal the hearts of every man and woman with his countless funny jokes but he also "touched our souls". Of course, ol' Robin would not have done this without buying us drinks first. Which just goes to show this man had class in his act. The thing is; this act was the sickest joke of them all
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Um okay... we here at UnNews are being informed that Robin Williams' apparent suicide was not a joke and the comedian/actor/porn star has indeed took his own life. We apologize for our dickish ways here at UnNews. We do have a tendency to lie sometimes.
Another source tells us that Williams' suicide was via the Japanese art of seppuku. We here at UnNews are in awe. Sincerely, what the fuck?
Williams has been battling suppression as well as depression and not to forget detention.
He left no suicide note. Perhaps his suicide note was an implied "Fuck you" to the world. But why not? We all get fucked once in a while. Especially in our college days.
His family asks for privacy on the subject at hand. But his family shall not be granted their wish here at UnNews. More updates may or may not (most likely not) arrive here shortly. So if you aren't satisfied with this bit of information; go stuff yourself -- as the ol' Robin would have put it.
Fans can expect four family friendly films to be released after Williams' suicide. One is my son's favorite, a Night at the Museum sequel. One last porno is to be released as well. Small Pricks, Wet Licks is set to be released at local porn theaters everywhere on Christmas.
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