UnNews:Roberto Carlos turns 71; awkward things happen

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For quite a while, actually, awkward things have been happening in the days before his birthday.

19 April 2012

Rio de Janeiro, Brazil -- Today, 19 April 2012, Roberto Carlos Braga is 71. Although it would be awfully difficult to comprehend why this would interest you, since you are so busy trying to find new horseshoes on the internet for your stallion, it is worth mentioning that awkward things have been going on on Braga's birthday:

  • Dick Clark, that guy who did the New Year's Ball Drop, died yesterday.
  • It was also the anniversary of Albert Einstein's 1955 death.
  • Borat Sagdiyev met his demise yesterday in Kazakhstan when he fell down a well with a Jew.
  • A chicken gave birth to a chick. Without laying an egg. The mother chicken died, but the chick survived.
  • The guy who played the flute in Men At Work's song "Down Under" also died.
  • Famous elephant Duke died on 18 April 2010 after he choked on a peanut coated with chocolate. Brazilian chocolate.
  • Probably somebody else died too, but nobody cares.

Sources close to the singer said that he forgot his own birthday, but luckily, some of the Elderly Fangirls reminded him. Strangely, some of these fangirls are even older than he is, and probably were fangirling while he was in Lady Laura's womb.

We couldn't save the cheetah, but we can still save the whales![edit]

It is tempting to laugh to one's heart's content, since the boat in the video is called Lady Laura. What is it with men in boats so that the floating devices are always named after their moms? Do they really love their mothers that much, or is it just something stupid they do? Or are they just struggling to find a name and the only one that comes to their mind is the person that warned them about boats being dangerous?

Sources[edit]