UnNews:Queen in a huff at photographer for raunchy request
12 July 2007
THE QUEEN is seen storming off after a run-in with photographer Burt Cockspurtz during an Unnews documentary. Cockspurtz tells the Queen she thinks her shot will look better "with a little more of that famous "Royal Cleavage" on show".
The Queen's response was, perhaps unsurprising, "If Prince Philip hasn't laid eyes on my fleshy pillows since 1956 then you certainly won't be clapping your eyes on them!" and walks off in a hissy huff. The Queen is also shown telling Cockspurtz: "I've had enough of dressing like a whore for your pornographic rag, thank you very much."
The Sun newspaper's royal photographer Arthur Norks says the nation has missed out on a treat and is disappointed with the Queen's refusal. He told Unnews that "it would have been great to see the Queen get her baps out for the nation, that would have been good! Phwoar!".
Norks confessed that he himself is not adverse to asking outlandish requests of Royals, "the Prince of Wales revealed an bottom cheek to me back in 1981, which was nice. He took exception when I asked if Lady Diana would like to perform [censored on legal advice] though."
"But my motto has always been 'if yer don't ask yer don't get'!"