UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

18 July 2008

Pope Benedict XVI on the bottom side of the earth. It seems that the natives can cope with the gravity circumstances better than His Holiness.

SYDNEY, Australia - Pope Benedict XVI, currently visiting Australia for Catholic World "Youth Day", seems very thoughtful these last days. The sojourn to the other side of the earth might have rocked the way he sees the world a little.

Neither as pope nor as Ratzinger, Benedict ever explicitly expressed his opinion of the shape of the earth, whether it is a sphere or a disc. The official opinion of the Roman Catholic Church on this issue is rather vague - while the practice of burning or excommunicating dissenters has got out of fashion lately, the Vatican does not actively promote the idea of a spherical earth, and the official Latin term is still orbis, the circle of the earth.

During the last few days in Australia, the pope has suffered some headaches and circulation issues. This was shrugged off as jet lag by the medical attendants, but the pope could as well interpret is as a consequence of being at the bottom side of the earth. In any case, he strictly observes to be seat-belted in cars and holds fast wherever he can, lest he might fall off the earth accidentally.

For this afternoon, Benedict has announced a press conference. It is reported that he will make a statement on the shape of the earth, and add some useful traveling advice for the faithful.