UnNews:Pleakley to Have Sex with Men in Exchange for Money

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Friday, August 4, 2017

Kevin McDonald, a Kids in the Hall alumni starred as Pleakley in the Lilo & Stitch franchise. I don't know what else he appeared in, sorry.

MONTRÉAL, QUÉBEC, CANADA - Kevin McDonald has announced that he will don the role of Pleakley once again; not to star in a potential Lilo & Stitch movie or TV show but to have sex with men in exchange for their money. This was announced with a series of tweets that described his reasoning for starting the service and why he didn't announce it in a traditional way.


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He then tweeted out a video that he posted on YouTube which was animated by people who worked on "Lilo & Stitch: The Series". As for why he didn't get the animators from "Lilo & Stitch", he responded in a tweet that they were "way too expensive" and that he "knew the animators and they were cheap so yeah...". The video featured Pleakley on a Hawaiian beach wearing something tantalizing while his mouth and body moved in the cheapest fashion possible. The transcript of the video is below.


Aloha People, my name is Pleakley and I help Lilo and Stitch and the gang capture their experiments. No, this is not about the experiments... I'm here to ask you three questions. Did you think that I look attractive? Were you attracted to my beautiful dresses? Did you ever wanted to have sex with me? I know the answers you'll say to each of them will be yes and I'm offering you the chance of a lifetime. For a price of $500, you will have the time of your life with me, Pleakley. I will serenade you while R&B music plays in the background making you feel special; then when the mood is right we will grace the bed, make moves and ultimately feel pleasure that will change your life. Don't miss out on this experience of a lifetime, go to havesexwithpleakley.com now! Do not hesitate, your childhood dream will be waiting.


Already the video has amassed 500,000 views with most of the viewers being confused by it; A quick glance at the comments shows that nobody is sure what to feel about a comedian reprising a role from an animated franchise to have sex with gay men for money and the video currently has a even like/dislike ratio from people who either have nostalgia for the Lilo & Stitch franchise or are creeped out by the situation being presented to them.

Despite all this; some gay men have actually payed Kevin McDonald $500 for him to act as Pleakley and have their childhood fantasies come true. They don't care about the fact that a comedian has suddenly started having gay sex for money; to them, it's all about the experience of a lifetime.

As for whether or not the comedian is simply using this as a publicity stunt or is serious about having gay sex for money; no one can be truly sure... Although a quick look at his casting credits, personal history, relationship history and even us talking to some of his friends, former castmates and bystanders have indicated that he is 101% gay but UnNews refuses to believe in the possibility of Michael McDonald being gay due to a belief that homosexuality is a hoax invented by Al Gore, Hollywood and makers of erectile dysfunction medicine that we inherently uphold no matter what. UnNews has betted the entire UnNews operation on the fact that this is a publicity stunt. UnNews is absolutely sure that Kevin McDonald is a straight, heterosexual man; with 1,000,000,000,000% certainty UnNews will win the bet and Kevin McDonald will NOT have sex with a gay man.