UnNews:Outrage as man ignores health and safety guidance whilst saving baby from car submerged in river.
|
This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
25 April 2008
HEALTH AND SAFETY CAMPAIGNERS branded a man as "mad beyond all comprehension" after he recklessly jumped into a river to pull out a baby stuck in a submerged car that had veered off the road moments earlier. In an act that totally disregarded every manner of health and safety guidelines, recommendations and check-lists the man saved the tot from "certain death".
Health and Safety spokesperson Gertrude McTwatstane was incandescent in her(?) criticism, "by his actions this man has forced a health and safety executive team to give up their weekend and come out to fill out a miriad of forms in investigating how this flagrant breach of doctrine was allowed to happen. Make no mistake we will be recommending that the full weight of the law is bought to bare on this foolish gentleman!"
"Before attempting to rescue the baby the man should at least have filled in a standard 'Risk Assessment and Minimisation Feasibility Study Initiation Proposal' which should have been faxed to our offices in triplicate!"
When it was pointed out to her that the baby had only moments to live and to stop to fill in such a form, in triplicate, would have undoubtedly resulted in tragedy Ms McTwatstane merely pointed out that, "without proper consideration of health and safety doctrine this sets a dangerous prescedant in encouraging unqualified members of public to risk their own lives in saving others."
"If we start going down that dangerous road then what on earth is the point of me and my ilk."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- waitwaitwait "wait" wait!, April 25, 2008