UnNews:Obama not as good as iPhone 5 claim Apple fans

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8 November 2012

To encourage them to vote Democrat, iPhone owners were supplied specially lengthened queues, were clapped into the polling station and got to use specially simplified voting papers that integrated with Facebook.

WASHINGTON, USA -- Fans of the technology firm Apple have come out fighting today claiming that despite his re-election Obama still lags behind the iPhone 5 in terms of ease of use.

“With iPhone 5, you can just pick it up and use it – it just works,” New York Apple fan Richard Benfrift commented, “With Obama it’s always a case of ‘can we fix it?’.”

Apple enthusiasts argue that IOS6 is still streets ahead of Obama’s human-consciousness.

Technology expert Bil Frapp from website Tech Hardon recently wrote in his review of Obama’s first-term that, “IOS6 is a more mature product definitely, but Obama is providing a smoother delivery after suffering some minor hiccups in the first Presidential debate. In terms of the simplicity of its layout, IOS6 still just about wins on points however.”

The new iPhone 5 has increased in size from its predecessor, but only modestly. Obama’s size is still a problem to many Apple fans. At 6”1, many argue that it’s impossible to interact with him with a single thumb and that as owners of Apple products have smaller than average pockets, he just wont fit. Bizzarely, Obama second-term is actually 3mm thicker than the first-term version.

Though most agree having a conversation with the American President is a more natural and fruitful process than talking to Siri, die-hard Apple fan and creative person Richard Breadangle strongly disagrees:

“When I asked Obama what the weather was like, he told me it was ‘not too bad out there’. Siri gave me the exact temperature and a picture of a cloud. When I asked them both the birth date of Michael Stipe, Obama gave me ‘I’ve got lots of people to see’ whilst Siri got it correct to the exact day.”