UnNews:New study shows alarming trend in racism

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20 September 2012

Yes, if you are not a member of a minority race, this is you.

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An alarming new study out of Black Panther University (BPU) shows a radical increase in the number of racist Americans. In the study, a group of 1000 white kindergarten students was shown a picture of a white child and a black child dressed identically, and the students were asked the question, 'Which one is the bad child?' The vast majority of kindergarten students chose the picture of the black child, showing racism in the very youngest among the white population.

An identical study was performed at the University of Utah except that in the U of U study, students were asked 'Is either of these children a bad child?' That study had different findings. In that study nearly every student answered 'no.' However, that study was deemed invalid because it was done after lunch, and everyone knows that after lunch students can't think clearly.

Shakirahla Williams, director of the Department of Racism Proofs at BPU commented on the study.

"We have always known that every cracker in America is a racist pig, and this is irrefutable evidence. Like I said, we have always known this, even before this study was announced. You see, they are all racist. The ones who say and do racist things are racist, and the ones who don't are even worse, because they are just hiding their racism. The ones who actually aren't racist are the worst of all, because every white person in America who is not racist degrades the moral basis of our righteous anger against white people. With no moral basis for our anger, we are less powerful, and anything that diminishes the power of the black race is inherently racist."

When asked to comment on Williams' findings and statement, professor Harold DeSilva, of the University of Utah Department of Racial Studies was reported to have replied, "Huh?"