UnNews:Neil Armstrong appears on geek sitcom

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27 October 2012

One giant new low for mankind.

EARTH, Macrocosm -- Halloween came early for many pop science enthusiasts, as the late space pioneer and American hero Neil Armstrong planted his flag on the hit CBS comedy The Big Bang Theory. Or rather, his cold, lifeless corpse did. Bazinga™!

The plot of Thursday night's episode revolved around a Halloween party at the local comic book store, as planned by the character Raj Koothrappali. At one point he decided it would be topical to fix up a wax figure of Neil Armstrong to look like a zombie. However, during the party Leonard pointed out that the figure would inspire their friend Howard "Fruit Loops" Wolowitz to yet again brag about his short time as an astronaut, having recently returned from the International Space Station. It's at this moment Howard walks into the comic book store. Thus, the situation creates a series of hilarious hijinks in which the gang attempts to hide and sneak out the figure without arousing suspicion. While within the context of the episode the figure was meant to be merely fake, the role was filled by Neil Armstrong's genuine dead body as a wink to the audience.

"Oh, it was real," claimed series creator Chuck Lorre. "We even had Two and a Half Men star Jon Cryer dig it up, at risk of his own criminal arrest and rumors of necrophilia. Ya see, he's kinda our bitch that way."

The fact that it was actually Armstrong's relatively fresh body was a secret held by only a small circle of producers, and was only revealed publicly on the day the episode aired. The morbid stunt was a ploy to boost The Big Bang Theory's staggering ratings, as most of the show's nerd fanbase is beginning to realize it laughs at them more than it laughs with them. "Originally," says Lorre, "we were simply gonna have Buzz Aldrin hand out punny astronomy-themed candy to trick-or-treaters, but that seemed sorta cheesy, even for one of my shows. I figured if we were gonna aim for the moon, let's aim for the freaking moon, baby!"

Lorre and co. have assured the media, NASA and the courts that Armstrong's body rests safely back in its proper burial place, no harm, no foul. However, there were hints of a future second appearance tied into a storyline involving the series' own Sideshow Bob, Wil Wheaton. As it stands, the carcass of the first man on the moon holds the series' record for least animated guest star, narrowly beating out Stephen Hawking and a dream sequence Spock action figure voiced out-loud by Leonard Nimoy.

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