UnNews:NRA approves of law allowing blind to own firearms

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11 March 2013

NRA manual for the blind on how to operate a semi-automatic rifle. And boobies.

The U.S. House of Representatives voted unanimously yesterday to ban bans on allowing blind persons to purchase military-style assault weapons and high-capacity magazines. The bill's passage in the House was supported by the National Rifle Association and several blind rights groups who cite the need for blind persons to defend themselves from assailants.

Bertrand McPhalluster, a blind cab driver leading the blind in reclaiming their right to own armor piercing ammunition, says that he is increasingly becoming a victim of violent crimes. "I was last robbed two days ago," he says, "and the assailant was wearing a mask, so I could not identify him even if you had him in a lineup. Also, I am blind."

Gun activists across the board agree that letting the blind own high caliber assault weapons will possibly deter crimes committed against them. But critics say that this is stupid. "This is stupid," says law enforcement officer Sheen Bergenstein. "It makes about as much sense as a deaf person being a switchboard operator, or a sane person listening to dubstep." Lawmakers intend to vote on banning dubstep next week.