UnNews:Mnemonic device wreaks havoc on Creationist strategy

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

31 May 2006

A bunch of Loonies with a sciency-sounding name.

SALIVATION, Georgia, US -- The Center for Scientific Creationism was dealt a crushing stomp when well-meaning Christian teachers agreed on the use of a mnemonic device to teach differences between the Theory of Evolution and Creationism. "We just thought it would be helpful to students, so that they know the real difference between theory and Biblical fact," said a distressed Margaret Pestilence, teacher at the Goa Tse Memorial Middle School. "If I'd known it would cause such a ruckus, I'd never have suggested it, of course."

Ms. Pestilence, a non-creative anachronist by trade, invented the now-infamous device to remember the key differences between competing ideas on the nature of reality. By stressing the difference in number of syllables in each word, the clever school teacher came up with this:

If you're four E-vo-lu-tion, you'll go the fifth level of Hell.

If you high five Cre-a-tion-i-sm, you're bound four Heaven.

A skeptical heathen, CSICOP supporter, probably kills babies for kicks.

The evil CSICOP, Committee for Scientific Investigation and Paranormal Phenomena and publisher of The Skeptical Inquirer, an organization dedicated to the eradication of Christianity, was contacted for a comment. UnNews was referred to their web site, which summarizes it's mission, couched in innocent sounding language:

“CSICOP encourages the critical investigation of paranormal and fringe-science claims from a responsible, scientific point of view and disseminates factual information about the results of such inquiries to the scientific community and the public.”

~ CSICOP on how they plan to destroy good Chistians.

Sources

• Howie Mandell "How to identify a stupid Baptist" Random Nonsense House, 31 May 2006