UnNews:Mayans: 'Made ya look!'

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23 December 2012

Mi paisano, Actun

YUCATÁN, Mexico -- It has been pointed out that the world did not end on this year's winter solstice. One of my Mayan kinsmen, known only as Actun, prepared a drunken statement:

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Guess what! We were just kidding! The world is not going to end for at least another seven thousand years! We simply ran out of stone to write this calendar!”

~

He then walked away from me and went to get drunker. I caught up to him and ate tamales with him. He told me that I make really good tamales. I said, "Thank you. But I didn't make these tamales." It didn't matter.

Later, all the Mayans (myself included) went to Chichén Itzá and thanked God for the world NOT ending.

I then attempted to interview at least one person who sincerely thought that the world was going to end, but I couldn't. Everyone of that description was already locked in the madhouse.

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