UnNews:Mayans: 'Made ya look!'

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23 December 2012

Mi paisano, Actun

YUCATÁN, Mexico -- It has been pointed out that the world did not end on this year's winter solstice. One of my Mayan kinsmen, known only as Actun, prepared a drunken statement:

“HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Guess what! We were just kidding! The world is not going to end for at least another seven thousand years! We simply ran out of stone to write this calendar!”


He then walked away from me and went to get drunker. I caught up to him and ate tamales with him. He told me that I make really good tamales. I said, "Thank you. But I didn't make these tamales." It didn't matter.

Later, all the Mayans (myself included) went to Chichén Itzá and thanked God for the world NOT ending.

I then attempted to interview at least one person who sincerely thought that the world was going to end, but I couldn't. Everyone of that description was already locked in the madhouse.


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