UnNews:Matt Smith to leave Doctor Who

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

8 June 2013

Matt Smith of Doctor Who looking completely inconspicuous.

LONDON, UK - It appears that after 3 years of playing Dr. Who, Matt Smith has decided to vacate the role and leave the show. The reason for vacating the role is unknown. Many say it was because of misuse of drugs. Others believe his behavior was unruly and aggressive. Even Matt Smith didn't give much of a reason, stating that the time of the show has been fun and he looks forward to future projects.

We at UnNews know full well what the reason is, and that reason is buttsex. Who's the precipitant of said buttsex? Mr-ex777. It's no surprise here due to the fact that it has recently been publicized to ridiculous levels. Despite the controversy of it, no one has bothered to point Matt Smith out for this, leaving his acting career unaffected.

When UnNews asked Mr-ex777 how he felt about Matt Smith leaving his role as Dr. Who, he broke down, immediately started crying and said "He's a heartless, senseless bastard who wants nothing to do but to buttrape me until the end of time. And the worst part about it is, he won't even tell me why. I'm just an anti-brony trying to take down My Little Pony before their evil hands destroy us all. Why is it that Matt Smith's out to rape me?"

When UnNews asked Matt Smith about his future plans, he responded "I'm going to get a bit kinky and focus on the long pastime of partying. There are just so many tender and juicy fellas who I can jerk it to." He then looked up to the sky, with a hopeful face reminding him of his obvious first love Mr-ex777, and continued, "There's always going to be one love for me, my dearest forever and always."

The BBC is expected to find a replacement with modest Brittan looks and shaggy hair within the year.

Sources

• Robert Seidman "Matt Smith to leave 'Doctor Who'" TV by the Numbers, June 1st, 2013