UnNews:Martians sue Blair for criminal damage
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27 July 2006
Earth-The Solar System -- Martians have filed legal action against UK Prime Minister Tony Blair over allegations that he was criminally negligent in his July 15th Saturday night guitar jamming at Gilligan's Pub in Westhamphsire. The Martians allege that the warbling harmonics of Blair's notes scraped along the Martian mothership, leaving large dents and scratches.
This is not the first time that Blair has been sued for damages caused by his guitar playing. Various satellite companies have already filed lawsuits against him after his jamming knocked their crafts out of the sky. The last public admittance of guilt by Mr. Blair for such an occurrence, however, was the unplanned 2001 crash of the Mir space station.
Ambassador David Bowie, recently appointed by UN Secretary General Koffi Annan, filed a report noting increasing tensions could result in rock-and-roll suicides, and reputedly told the Martian delegation "Oh he was all right...the band was altogether...yeah, he was all right..." in an attempt to soothe. Nonplussed, the Martian delgation insisted on compensation.