UnNews:Man stuck on toilet for 4 days after adverse reaction to curry dish

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10 December 2007

McShatting, pictured yesterday, may "never fully recover."

WHAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE a drunken finale to a night of booze, birds and public order offences ended in an arduous ordeal for one Scottish man. David McShatting, 55, ended up spending four days on a toilet after consuming a dish of "extra hot" curried yak. Mr McShatting was unable to raise the alarm after becoming stuck in the toilets of the Pearl of Punjab Peruvian Curry House in Aberdeen.

Mr McShatting, having consumed the infamous "hyper-hot" curried yak for a bet quickly regretted his bravado as he settled down for what he thought would be a "quick spicy squit". The minutes quickly turned to hours as his anus went into what doctors describe as "prolonged and acute pebble-dashing reflex".

Unfortunately his drunken pals were not much use as they themselves were collectively arrested for the attempted sexual assault of a bronze elephant statue. His predicament was not helped after the establishment was also shut down for "usage of rancid dog meat" in its dishes.

McShatting, recovering at home yesterday has warned others to be wary of experimenting with curry, "it might seem big and clever at the time but, believe me, when your spending your 3rd day on the "throne" dropping spicy logs things don't seem quite so funny."

"Doctors say the rash may take years to heal".

The hapless man was only found after four days whilst fireman were evacuating the area due to a "toxic gas leak" in the vacinity. Suffice to say the source of the leak was quickly located once McShatter was found.

[edit] Sources

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