UnNews:Man arrested for having creepy voice

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

3 March 2012

Batman was the first suspect, but authorities claimed him innocent, after realizing Batman was allergic to yogurt.

GOTHAM CITY, New York - Police in Gotham were notified by several citizens that a strange voice had been heard at precisely 1:48 this afternoon. Being a slow day of justice, Gotham Police gathered their men and went to the houses wearing sunglasses that they stole an hour before. Officials scanned the area 2 blocks down each house, arresting 18 suspects in the aftermath. But as witnesses stated, they heard only one strange voice, so the police had to do some actual work.

Among the suspects were creepy voice professionals Christopher Walken, Batman, Pee Wee Herman, and Nicolas Cage, who all so happened to be in Gotham City at the same time. Witnesses stated they heard someone say something about low fat yogurt, while others claimed to hear something about Hulk Hogan's daughter's 29-inch pythons. Authorities then eliminated suspects allergic to snakes and ones who were lactose intolerant.

Peewee was another suspect, but authorities unfortunately liked his crap, and let him go.

With the suspects narrowed down, and Gotham's dairy and snake allergies quickly rising, 2 remained in the pointless crime. One, by the name of Prince Nick Smith, admitted to the creepy voice at around 3:02 later today. He stated that he was making a parody of Titanic, which he was to ask Rose (played by Seth McFarlane) to step back from the ledge is she accepted some low fat yogurt.

“ It's not like I wanted to do this. I just wanted to see Seth wearing a wig. Do you seriously think someone would actually care for a Titanic parody? I know I wouldn't. Well, I got arrested. I believe it was well worth it, though. ”

Local courts have stated that there will be an investigation for wrongful arresting. But considering the fact that Prince doesn't care about his arrest, police seem to be sticking to actual justice again, as if nothing happened.

Authorities have not yet released any more information on this crime, but rumors are spreading that Prince Nick Smith will break out of jail eventually. But it's not like that's important or anything.