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26 March NFL owners approve speed limit, ban trick plays Archives: March 2024 | Older Indigestions Refresh – add	Sarah Palin: 'Going Rouge' Hits Stores; Hints to Maverick Party ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- Sarah Palin begins her whirlwind tour of her newest book, fittingly titled Going Rouge. Sources tell that it was originally going to be called Story of an Average Maverick Hockey-Mom, but Palin refuted that title, calling it "anti-un-Americana." » Full story US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults ( listen) GAINESVILLE, Florida -- The United States briefly jumped ahead in the months-long battle between Muslims and Christians to give the other side gratuitous offense when Pastor Terry Jones designated next Saturday as the first "Burn a Koran Day." » Full story Tea Party supporters oppose plans to display severed heads of 9/11 victims at Ground Zero GROUND ZERO, New York City -- Supporters of the Tea Party movement have demonstrated in opposition to plans to "display the severed heads of 9/11 victims on spikes at Ground Zero." Supporters of the proposal, however, accuse opponents of being "misleading" and "hysterical." » Full story	From the Chief • Audio • Podcast • Goldstein Award • Foolitzer Prize • Ask Cthulhu • Ask Hal 9000 • Tech Support Write a new UnNews story: Type your desired headline and then click on the button. Read Me First | Style Guide | Newsroom Stories with Audio President Partons turkey UnNews remembers Phil Spector Strait Country is Rolling Stone's Gayest Album of All Time Tips to avoid the coronavirus North Korea to separate onto their own island Something might happen tomorrow » More | Podcast Horoscope for This Month Week of the: Aries Read this month's predictions UnFunnies for March 31 (show)

PoliticsMore Scooby-Doo Named Acting Director of Division of Enforcement Toilet paper scarcity in Germany Biggest WTO meeting ever held Boney M removes Neil Young cover from Spotify Governor Cuomo is screwed Christina Chandler announces her candidacy Russia declares Venus as a Russian Planet If Joe Biden isn't a creep, then he isn't a creep! U.S. warns Gerard Depardieu: Stay out of our elections Yang "a coronavirus carrier," says Trump Internet forum contributor lauded for insightful commentary Trump tweets "Impeach the pres"	TechnologyMore Scorsese discovers Britney Spears Email song NASA fixes supercomputer by turning it off and then back on Tiktok's scientists train users to "scroll down" National dogeday ensues, Dogecoin price is pumping, everyone is rich Trolling AI "indistinguishable" from humans Lordy, there are tapes! Holiday shopping preview 2017 We need to talk about net neutrality New Amazon gadget may be last device you will ever need if you can figure out what it does Hasta la Vista, baby! Windows 7 predecessor terminated CNN becomes first TV network to broadcast in low definition Germanwings tragedy portends pilotless passenger drones	EntertainmentMore If you don't watch this movie, we will do something Pleakley to Have Sex with Men in Exchange for Money New "Weird Al" album to be executively produced by an infant baby Richard Hammond joins One Direction Cliff Richard abuse allegations investigated by police Mick Jagger: Van Halen are wrinkly old men trying to relive their youth Scale Everest: Now’s your chance! Lindsay Lohan creamed in Liz Taylor portrayal Wii U on indefinite hold Population of men who identify as gay up nearly 200% in month following leak of Snooki nudes Editorial - Why SOPA and PIPA are good ideas Cher spurns daughter’s role in TV freak show	Original reportingMore North Pole elves go on strike Classic style guide Scab workers hired on to produce content for UnNews San Diego, California Prepares for Annual 'Festival of Boobies' Pete Davidson to play evil supergenius in new movie April Fool's highlights 2022 Hollywood changes its name to Hollynwood Boney M and Dschinghis Khan release pro-Ukraine versions of 'Rasputin' and 'Moskau' Dog bites alien Rivers Cuomo loses his sex, again Weezer's Rivers Cuomo gets promoted Britpop fan reacts to Dexter revival
On This Day March 31, 2023 March 31, 2022	ReligionMore Toast seen in face of Jesus Billy Graham dies at 99: What other obits aren't telling you America setting up for a coup by Satanists, Angel says Apple plans electric religion Bats are eating my legs! Controversial gay admits to Christian feelings Conversion therapy leader admits to male practice; closes facility After 598 years, Catholic Church admits wrongdoings Low-ranking Syrian terrorist defects from NATO Did the Time Warp wreck Canadian's Pope chances? The new looks sweeping the Muslim world Obama forgets sister's holiday	HealthMore Australia names Mike Gibbons as October's 'National Fart Month' 2023 Ambassador. 'Sunday Papers Podcast' Host Greg Fitzsimmons' Sex Tape Becomes Highest-Rated Film in India Latest Narcissism Wave Grips Los Angeles County, Women Urged to Stay Low for Now Hundreds of Patients Stuck in Oregon Hospital Beds California officials declare Elon Musk's ego essential UnNews Quarantine Guide 2020 The Who unveils plan to lower insulin prices Yang "a coronavirus carrier," says Trump Rush Limbaugh accidentaly ties wrong part of brain behind back, goes into cardiac arrest All 'girls' in sex chat room actually girls Man fighting for life after eating an entire Mickey D's Dinner Box Are we all going to die of Ebola?	CrimeMore British Peace Officers to be Armed with Fortnite Shock Hammers. Scooby-Doo Robbed at Gunpoint in London Mr. Krabs tax returns released Police seize $37 billion cash in Federal Reserve Bank raid Nixon admits 'I am a crook. No wait.' Mueller turns in report You're in big trouble, mister Enough is enough Lordy, there are tapes! GOP ends House Russia probe; Veselnitskaya admits to being Russian spy Bill Cosby found guilty of every crime FBI raids Trump lawyer Michael Cohen
UnMagazine	Headlines (Add) Click a headline to make a story! Travis Kelce previews debut album after Super Bowl win Obama smears poop on day care Sean Evans tries world's hottest pepper, flips himself off Santa praises new EPA soot regulations Björk farts again, causes volcanic eruption in Iceland	Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you. All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.

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Today an 11% chance of showers Play day a 27% chance of tsunamis Payday no chance of bikini contests Suggested Recreation While there is a 1000% chance of dust Tomorrow, we suggest pouring rootbeer on your cat.

Global Warming Indicator Global Warming Indicator International Posts Special Weather Report: The English are shocked, SHOCKED, to find it's hot in July. UnWeather Station Forecast Stats Last year more snow fell in Africa than on the moon!

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