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Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»		Latest news  UnNews explains new hashtag Michael Gambon reincarnated as Bonnie Wright's baby Gov picks non-resident senator, delays election, saves democracy Australia names Mike Gibbons as October's 'National Fart Month' 2023 Ambassador. Most everything that happened during Uncyclopedia writers strike Uncyclopedia writers end strike after 146 days U.S government confirms Kermit the Frog to be behind U.F.O hoax Blackdick removed from Saw X Bar fight breaks out at formal dinner party Alected update: Side A will be performed by the parodied artists Why haven't B-listers joined the SAG-AFTRA strike? Twitter bird has mortality problem Scab workers hired on to produce content for UnNews Pat Sajak retiring from Wheel of Fortune Vatican City coup: Cardinal strung up from Sistine Chapel "distraught but alive" Vladimir Putin assassinated by Carrie Mathison Sweden officially declares sex as sport Paparazzo describes Sussex chase catastrophe Tina Turner dies at 83 Breaking: Я (Country) Threatens Linguistic Takeover with Я (Letter) » Older news
Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the country: The United States of Quebec. Full story»	Uncyclopedia says it’s losing contributors The online knee-jerk spoofopedia that is written entirely by quadriplegics, iSexuals, biSexuals, trySexuals, perverts, degenerates, tardy school children, farm animals, kindergarten teachers, Wikipedia rejects, peg-legged whalers, washed up 1st graders, and a few bearded-ladies (plus a honey or 2), is losing contributors Full story»
People overweight, and it's their fault, at all time low “If the additional fat is a product of modern society, you should not be given Diabetes by some facist doctor,” Full story»	Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisser on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais. Full story»
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Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Minitrue ± What's This? Seventh Day Adventists arrive one day early Tony Curtis family put Snail and Oyster farm up for sale Madonna bequeaths her veins to lute stringing company Christians murder 50 in USA multi city spree today-Muslim world appalled Iranian railways running on Axles of Evil says Palin	Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive. 11 Sep: Korans may have been burned today (2:53, 1.99 Mb, info) • story 8 Sep: Bush to be stripped of Heisman trophy (2:29, 1.71 Mb, info) • story 7 Sep: US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults (3:03, 2.09 Mb, info) • story 5 Sep: Jimbo Wales hopes to cash in on micro-commerce (3:15, 2.24 Mb, info) • story {{{18}}} ({{{19}}}, info) • [[{{{20}}}|story]] [[Media:{{{21}}}|{{{22}}}]] ({{{23}}}, [[:Image:{{{21}}}|info]]) • [[{{{24}}}|story]]
About UnNews An Uncyclomedia project UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 23 October 2022: Lettuce becomes Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 23 October 2020: Face masks are 5G conspiracy by Silver Shamrock Novelties 23 October 2014: Canada holds Parliament open doors day for Halloween 23 October 2013: Amherst: You will be raped at Homecoming 23 October 2008: Osama bin Laden found hiding in Big Brother house 23 October 2007: "Ha! NERNER-NER-NERNER you didn't win" - F1 ace Alonso revels in failure of plucky Brit Hamilton 23 October 2006: Apartments on the sun for rent 23 October 2005: Black iPods rob owners	UnFunnies for October 23
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