UnNews:Local homophobe creampies QANTAS CEO

100% not gay certified.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

PERTH, Australia -- In what was possibly the most comical stunt and indeed the most interesting thing to ever happen in the overcrowded prison complex that is Australia, a local homophobe decided to creampie the face of QUANTAS CEO Alan Joyce. The scandal erupted in front of five hundred guests, when Tony Overheu emerged from behind a curtain he had been standing behind for over two hours, then proceeding to whip his cock out and vigorously beat off all over Mr. Joyce's face. Having been edging himself carefully for the previous two hours, Tony was quick to let forth an absolute tidal wave of semen, before he was inevitably tackled by security. All of this was done to let Mr. Joyce know that "the silent majority that is middle Australia, are not pleased with your attempts to influence social discourse."

Alan Joyce, an outspoken supporter of marriage equality was left a stunned, soaking and salty mess, he has since clarified he intends to press charges citing the taste of the fifty-something-year-old's jizz as "absolutely nauseating".

When asked if he couldn't see the tremendous irony in his political statement, Overheu stated to reporters that "It was an absolutely necessary political statement and a highly effective one. If Mr. Joyce is displeased with strange men ejaculating on his face, why does he think it appropriate to expose that kind of behaviour to greater society and to our children? Think of the children!"

Mrs. Overheu is very unhappy with his actions and how they may reflect on their future. She is reportedly "at his throat" but Tony simply uses this to achieve states of erotic asphyxiation while he beats off, thinking about his next targets. He states he intends to target Airbnb, Wesfarmers and Holden.