UnNews:Iran crashes plane for Bush
27 November 2006
HAWAII, 6,000 miles east of Lord and Master US of A - At 11.30 pm local time, an Iranian jet aircraft type 737 built by Boeing in the good Ol' USA has crashed in northern Hawaii. The plane crashed right into president Bush's motorcade.
Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad in an urgent television broadcast announced, in English, that the plane that crashed is not to be taken as an attack on American soil. Because it happened in Hawaii. "We are to be making friend along with America of course." The Iranian president proclaimed in his televised broadcast by local Iranian television L.I.T.
The plane, the president claims was sent "For giving into George W. Bush so us can become we and join the peaceful religion of Islam. So I can ask to for your be giving please new clear technology." He also said that Christianity and Islam has waged war long enough and now it's time for peace. "Boom!" he said with a puffed mouth and beards that stands up. He continues "With big-bada-boom America will be peace with Iran and will no more war be."
And ends his broadcast "Please present take our giving of an airplane and 30 elite guards of our most greatest army guardian of Allah. So we can be peace."
According to the Iranian news agency, Allah News Network, the glorious plane landed flawlessly and the guards are standing by to be disposed by current president Bush.
President Bush was travelling in his motorcade along with 46 third grade student and their teacher in his presidential limousine. They were reading The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah to President Bush when the airplane crash into a Hawaiian police officer behind him. The great president Bush, confronted with fireball and a hail of destruction did not flinch. He continues to listen intently to the Alice M. Aniston reading the part, "But some Putz, Who lived just East of Jewville, Did not!" The children was spooked, but calmly, President Bush told them, "go on". With tears and fear, Alice proceeded reading the famous poem by Dr. Swiss.
Afraid of scaring the children and give the perception of panic, although no media was present at the time, not even Wolf Blitzer who usually lives on the presidential motorcade's trunks, the president's aides did not dare to disturb the president. After 15 minutes of reading the Putz, a secret service officer, drenched in blood and covered in soot, took it upon himself to whisper to president Bush "An Iranian plane crashed behind you, America under attack." But the brave president did not flinch. Even after two more whisper and a secret service agent losing his mind yelling, "Look behind you, you idiot!". A flick of the finger and the agent was dragged away by two other agents, yelling and screaming "Mr. President, America is Under Attack! I'm right I tells ya! I'm right!"
After he himself, The Putz ate the matzo with zeal! part, president Bush was seen very emotional, tears was running away from his eyes. He then thanked the children one by one and stepped out of his limo. He then looked around at the destruction, fire everywhere and parts of the plane everywhere. Calmly he look at some secret service agents lying on the ground, bleeding to death, then with great zeal, says, "Call FEMA. Tell them we need some band-aids. FAST!!"
To the press, already surrounding his presidential limousine, President Bush then says "Kim Jong Il's reign of terror is coming to an end. We will bring justice to North Korea. There's no doubt about it. We are at war against terror. Either you're with us, or against us." And at the exact time, a shrieking sheikh shriek and wields his sword towards US President Bush, but like a stone wall, he did not flinch. A Secret Service agent tackled him while another took the blow and lost her head. "Make no mistake. We will strike back. We will not falter. And we will not fail. Thank you. Good night and God bless America."
At that time, a CNN producer exclaimed "Aaaand, cut, print, check the gate. That's a wrap guys, now take five and let's have some lunch." Leaving the wide-eyed President Bush standing near his limo.
In other news, androgynous actor Lran Lrac's airplane crashed north of Iranland. Nobody cared.
- Feureau "Officer in Bush motorcade accident dies." AP, November 27, 2006
- Feureau "Plane crash kills 30 Iranian guardsmen." AP, November 27, 2006