UnNews:George W. Bush and Japanese Prime Minister invent a new secret hand-shake
6 July 2008
TOYAKO, Japan - After a major security breach in the Pentagon on Friday, President Bush made a emergency trip to Japan on Saturday (or sunday, in Japan). Bush needed to meet with Prime Minister Fukuda, to solve a massive problem that took place Friday night. Apparently the security breach compromised the secrecy of the Amero-Japan secret handshake. The White House told Bush that it was imperative to the continuation of the agreements that America has set up with Japan following World War II. They proceeded to warn Bush that the people who stole the handshake could do so much evil with it, that the entire world could end up restarting basically.
President Bush was heard as saying "This handshake will be even better than the last one, this one will be so complicated, even if someone does steal it, they will have no idea how to do it." before getting on Air Force One to fly to Japan. After a short meeting with the Japanese members of parliament, Bush and Prime Minister Fukuda left for a secret undisclosed location.
After hours of brainstorming between the two of them, they finally began the process of putting the handshake together. Japanese media officials released photos, and information about the handshake, without actually releasing the handshake to the general public. Rumors around the handshake have ensued, with talk of an "up-down pound", an "exploding pound", and up to 3 "butterflies", with a random assortment of hand and feet motions thrown in between them. It supposedly ends with both parties spitting in their shaking hand, and giving the other party a "high-five".
Bush is set to return home on Monday, July 7th, and hopes to celebrate his birthday in Japan, now that his official business there is completed. Prime Minister Fukuda has supposedly thrown him a small party on the northern most island of Japan.
- Michael Abramowitz "Bush and Fukuda invent new handshake." Washington Post, July 6, 2008