UnNews:Fishermen reel in MK15 Nuclear Bomb, plan to hang it on wall

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Wednesday, June 20, 2018

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SAVANNAH, Georgia -- Some local fishermen reeled in what they called "the catch of a lifetime" Tuesday when they pulled aboard an MK15 Nuclear Fish that was accidentally dropped by a B-47 bomber back in 1948. The men were aboard the Kraken Hunter VIII when one of their lines hooked on "something big," nearly snapping the corresponding fishing rod.

"I started reelin' her in, but she was a fighter," one of the sailors told UnNews. The bomb had been resting peacefully on the bottom for 70 years and was not in a good mood. "It just went back and forth, tugging harder on that line than anything I'd seen before."

"I thought we had caught the Megashark!" said another.

Once their catch was on board, Samuel "Strontium Sam" Brown and "Cesium" Caesar Beck, the two deckhands, started "feeling a little green" according to the vessel's owner and captain, "Atom Bomb" Andy Nimitz.

Around this time, three United States Navy Destroyers began circling. They came to a stop, and from atop the mast of one of them, the Admiral shouted orders at them through a megaphone.

"They were tellin' us how that was their bomb, that they'd lost it a while back, and demanded we give it to them, or they'd tell their mommy," Sam told us. Atom Bomb Andy was undaunted, and proceeded to remind the angry Admiral of the "Finder's Keepers" rule, and convinced the navy to leave them alone. The destroyers steamed away sadly, and crew of the Kraken Hunter VIII steamed for port.

Andy told our correspondant that he plans to take the catch to his taxidermist as soon as possible so he can hang it on the wall. "I want this thing proudly over my fireplace."

As for the plutonium guts of the bomb, Andy tells us he's found an Anonymous buyer in Kabul.

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