UnNews:Exclusive! What Dr Dre will spend his $800m on

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10 May 2014

Dr Dre is set to replace his standard 88-key synthesizer with the longest grand piano in the world.

With the news that Dr Dre has sold his share in Beats Electronics to Apple in a deal that will see the star's personal wealth rise to $800m, UnNews contacted the former N.W.A man to see what he planned to spend the money on.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg Hello Dr Dre, and welcome to UnNews. Is there anything you need before we start? A cup of tea? Do you know where your motherfuckin' bitches and niggas are at? Or would you like us to look for them for you_

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg No, it's fine, I'm cool.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg First things first, congratulations! $800m is a lot of money. Have you thought at all about how you're going to spend it?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Oh yeah, I got big plans!

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg Really, like what?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg I'ma buy the entire street I used to live on, and replace all the houses with palaces made of gold.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg Wow, that's going to set you back a bit!

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Don't worry your bitch-ass self, there's plenty more where that came from.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg And what about weed? Back in school, we all used to sing that line, "Smoke weed every day!" in the playground.

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Oh fo' sho'. I'ma still smoke some, but don't be thinking I'ma smoke some normal shit. I'ma research some shit on the internet, find out what the most expensive weed in the world is, and smoke that shit wrapped up in some parchment.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg Some parchment? Like what?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg I 'on't know. Some constitution or some shit.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg I imagine you're going to add to your impressive roster of cars too.

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Oh you know it! I've already talked to some of my boys down at the tunin' station. Turns out the company that makes the biggest rims in the world is based in Saudi Arabia - for all those rich young Arab-ass niggas. We just done put in an order for the biggest rims EVER!

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg Really? Like those crazy 50 inch rims you see at motor shows?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Oh no I'm talking big-ass. My rims are gonna be the size of two houses, one on top of the other.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg I... I literally can't imagine that.

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg They're not even sure how they gonna bring the motherfucker overs. I might have to buy a boat for that shit.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg Wowzers.

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Same shit with my piano. I called up Steinway, or whatever them motherfuckers called, and ordered the biggest grand piano in the world.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg I don't get it, how big can a piano get?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg They say there's a possibility that it could be never ending.

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg (laughing) What?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg They say we could wrap that motherfucker around the equator, just have it like sitting all the way around the world, like a fucking belt!

Wikinews waves Left.svgUnNewsWikinews waves Right.svg But what would be the point of that?

Wikinews waves Left.svgDr DreWikinews waves Right.svg Just means that all around the world, brothers will be like, "What's that?" and everyone will be all "That's Dre's piano man!"

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