UnNews:Doctors say recent spike in childbirth due to low abortion rate.

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

7 May 2008

WASHINGTON D.C., United States -- In a recent study conducted by top medical officials in the nation, it was discovered that there has been a 90,000,000,000,000% spike in recent births. Doctors say this spike is due to a "real low abortion rate" "At first we thought it might be a werewolf." Police Officer Joseph Merrick reported on a recent police response to a birth. "I heard this girl screaming from inside her house, so I grabbed my gun and kicked in the door. When I entered, I saw her vagina spread to inhuman lengths. I was scared so I shot it with mace. It was at this point that the fetus/baby was violently expelled towards me, and hit me in the chest. I ran and did not look back." Thousands of more terrifying reprts of childbirth such as this one have been reported worldwide. Officials say the best defence is a "Good Ol' Fashioed Abortion" Until more research is done, the fate of humanity rests in the balance.

Sources

• The Man "HOLY SHIT" A Jew, big surprise, 4/7/08

• The Man "Abortion Rates At All Time Low" A Jew, May 7, 2008