UnNews:Death version 2.0 out soon!
23 July 2009
God to release death update!
God announced earlier today that he will be releasing an update to death, Death version 2.0 will be available for beta testing from 29 July 2009 and a release candidate is expected later this year.
Death, one of Gods less popular creations has been at version 1.0 for several billion years with the slogan ‘It just works’. This is the first time he has released a service pack.
Some of Death version 2.0s new features will include a 'show me when' and 'show me how' video code that can be entered on YouTube. Other Customisations include on the spot cremation or instantaneous liquidification upon death, you will be shown how to customise these options in the user guide. Needless to say, crime scene investigators are gonna be pissed. God claims the update is compatible with all versions of humans, excluding the Scottish.
The Long anticipated ‘off’ setting is still not present but according to sources it has been included in the plans for death version 3.0.
Along with this news God also announced some new ways to die including an airborne sexually transmitted disease, the virus is apparently spread by 'eye fucking' others. Symptoms include mild itchiness followed by a quick death, over several months.
Disclaimer: Unlike God, Unnews is completely unbiased and unprejudiced towards religions groups and ethnic backgrounds, excluding the lower class.
|This article features first-hand journalism by an UnNews correspondent.|