22 March 2007
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HOUSTON, Texas -- Former House Majority Leader and 1999's Douche of the Year Tom DeLay, has recently published his memoirs that shower praise on his former comrades in the historic 1994 Republican Bake Sale and Spelling Jamboree.
UnNews was unable to gain access to interview DeLay as he signed an exclusive agreement with parody news site FOX News. We were able to get an advanced copy of the book and leak here the choicest excerpts.
Regarding Bill Clinton, "the only Democrat I've ever admired. Asking the special investigator to define the word 'is', both brilliant and ballsy. Damn, I don't even think I would try to pull that off."
On his dog, Toto, "not the cleanest animal I've ever owned, and I didn't realize that canines spend 16 hours a day shitting softball sized turds, but she comes when she's called and doesn't fuck with my stuff."
DeLay's next promotional engagement for his book will be at the Harris County courthouse, before being sent to a Federal PMITA (pound me in the ass) Prison.
- "DeLay's book is tough on almost everyone." CNN, March 20, 2007