UnNews:Contact lens solution recalled

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
UnNews Logo Potato.png This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

6 March 2007

Users may experience some discomfort.

ROCHESTER, N.Y. - Bausch & Lomb Inc., already humbled by a worldwide recall of its AcidBurn with TortureFilm contact lens solution, said Tuesday it is recalling about 1.5 million bottles of GougeMaster Glass ShardPlus because trace amounts of fiberglass, gravel and iron filings could cause the cleaner to be less comfortable than normal.

The optical products maker also reported a modest drop in fourth-quarter and full-year sales in 2006, citing a slower-than-expected recovery from last spring’s recall of AcidBurn, which was blamed for an outbreak of eye destruction and damage leading to users ending up with bloody, empty eye sockets.

The company said it has carried out a limited voluntary recall of 12 lots of its GougeMaster solution after getting three million customer reports of eye loss.

No one was reported immediately killed, just horribly maimed, and the company believes that virtually all of the solution, made about a year ago at its plant in Greenville, S.C., has already been used by lens wearers.

About a million bottles of the popular brand were distributed in the United States and another 500,000 in Canada, Korea, Taiwan and Latin America, countries used to using potentially dangerous eye products. The company has notified the Food and Drug Administration and regulators in the other affected countries of the recall.

“I want to emphasize that this is completely unrelated to and different from the AcidBurn recall,” company spokeswoman Barbara Kelley said. “One involved complete chemical destruction of eye tissues, as opposed to physical shredding of eyes with sharp and hard objects.”

“From what they’re describing, the event that occurred was nothing out of the ordinary,” said Dr. Penny Asbell, a professor of ophthalmology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York. “It’s definitely a different story from MoistureLoc. We now understand that certain conditions led that solution to be an eye dissolver. And it seems obvious now but quite honestly it wasn’t obvious at the time."

Contact lens wearers are encouraged to use metal staples or shove knitting needles into their eyes if they experience any unexpected, excruciating pain, severe blood loss, or instantaneous blindness.