UnNews:Catatonia poster boy loses his job

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31 October 2017

HOLLYWOOD -- The poster boy for catatonia, Kevin Spacey, has lost his job a few hours ago. This happened just a few days after Spacey declared catatonia an independent state, separate from schizophrenia. The declaration has upset the king of schizophrenia, who is also Kevin Spacey, so much that he had to fire himself and also quit his job at the same time.

The 58-years old ex-poster boy is known for his unique American beauty, his passion for eating fruit, and his passion for harassing actor Brad Pitt. Spacey has created eight catatonia-themed posters during his career, each of which harassing Brad Pitt in a different and exotic way. These harassments were later documented in the film Ei8ht, starring Kevin Spacey as himself being catatholic. [1] In the film, Spacey is shoving eight Hannukah candles in eight different colors into Brad Pitt's butt. In reality, Spacey's work was much more layered and complicated, yet no one remembers it now since Spacey became the new poster boy for drunkenness. [2] [3]

Kevin Spaceys Career.jpg
Kevin Spacey's career

"Keiser Luthör"

July 26, 1959 — October 31, 2017

Footnotes[edit]

  1. A person suffering from Catholicism-caused catatonia.
  2. Instead of Mel Gibson. Perhaps some kind of beheading is in order.
  3. In other words, the man is jobless.

Sources[edit]