UnNews:Ballmer and Gates Children caught using Linux and Macs
5 November 2009
Microsoft founder Bill Gates and CEO Steve Ballmer have uncovered their children's use of products made by arch-rival Apple.
According to inside sources, during a recent get together in the Gates mansion, the children secreted themselves into one of their many rooms. Gates, using his CCTV monitoring system, uncovered their use of forbidden laptops and software. Both men became irate upon discovery.
Gates looked closer and said "Is that the GNOME desktop? Blast it! Those kids installed Linux over my Windows 7 machines!" It seemed that the kids installed a copy of Ubuntu to the hard drives to run Linux instead of Windows 7.
"This is our turn to decide what we want to use. Windows is a fascist operating system and we want to be free of its tyranny!" said Anonymous Child Number One. "We have a right to use whatever technology we want!" said Anonymous Child Number Two. "If Windows 7 was designed like a Mac or Linux we would use it." said Anonymous Child Number Three.
Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer then started up the new charity "Windows Kids, Inc." to help spread the message of not using Macs or Linux, but to use Windows instead in order to
brainwash er, ah, indoctrinate educate the masses of youths out there to make the right choice. "Drop that iPod, get a Zune, ditch that iPhone and get a Windows Mobile Smartphone. Be a Windows Kid(TM) and be cool, not a loser like others. Windows 7 rules, it was made for Kids like you, not Linux, and not Mac OSX, they are not Kid Friendly."
- Steve Jobs "Bill Gates forbids his kids from using Mac, wife wants iPhone." Mac Edonia Online, November 4, 2009
- Don Crabb "No Google or iPods for Steve Ballmer's kids?." Tech Republic, November 4, 2009