UnNews:And the Mays is gone!
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
28 June 2009
HI -- BILLY MAYS HERE WITH MAYSAWAY, A BRAND-NEW PRODUCT THAT YOU NEED TO GET THE MAYS OUT OF THERE! MAKE HIM PASS, AND MAKE IT LAST!
TIRED OF STANDARD NATURAL CAUSES THAT ONLY SEND PEOPLE TO HOSPITALS? THAT'S WHERE MAYSAWAY COMES IN! ONE UNIDENTIFIABLE CAUSE OF DEATH, AND MAYS IS GONE! IT'S NOT A HOMICIDE, SUICIDE, OR STANDARD DETERGENT! ORDINARY DEATHS COME WITH RIGOROUS POLICE INVESTIGATIONS. WITH MAYSAWAY, THEY'LL FIND YOUR MAYS THE NEXT MORNING WITH NO SIGNS OF FOUL PLAY!
IT WORKS IN ANY SITUATION! USE IT AT THE POOL, THE SHOWER, OR EVEN QUIETLY IN YOUR SLEEP!
CALL NOW AND WE'LL THROW IN OUR NEW PRODUCT VINCEAWAY, ABSOLUTELY FREE! THAT'S AN $800,000 LIFE INSURANCE VALUE, ALL YOURS FOR JUST $19.95!
Here's how to order![edit | edit source]
- Call: "1-800-624-MAYS" As Seen On TV, Supplies are limited!