UnNews:A few words about Trump and the 2016 election

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

Monday, November 14, 2016

In an UnNews first, the UnNews Audio was recorded before the article had even been written. What follows is a transcription of said audio, written and recorded by yours truly, PF4Eva. Everything was recorded in one take with no editing. However, the 11 MB file was split into two smaller files.

[Zoom H2N positioning noise]

I can't believe I'm going to say any of this. This is probably the hardest UnNews I've ever had to do. And this is my first UnNews where the audio came first; I haven't written any of this yet. This is all fresh.

(Clears throat)

This is PF4Eva with UnNews.

(Somber pause)

As you may know by now, Donald Trump won the election in a surprising upset.

(Deep breath, pause, deep breath)

What happened Tuesday was a national nightmare.

(Pause)

Wrong on so many levels. It's a mess.

(Pause. Noise.)

I never thought in a million years that Donald Trump would be President of the United States -- a man with no prior political or (clears throat) military experience. A man who used a hate-filled rhetoric during his entire campaign. The second coming of Hitler. America, where did you go wrong?

Hillary Clinton was the shoe-in. She was the obvious choice. She should be our next President.

(Pause)

She even won the popular vote. Doesn't that tell you anything?

(Pause)

I'm dreading the next four years. Donald Trump wants to make America great again? Not that it wasn't already great? How far back is he going to go? Is he gonna make America white and Christian again, and segregated and heterosexual?

I can't believe this is happening. Where did we go wrong?

(Long pause)

I'm at a loss for words. We can't take this sitting down. We have to stand up, we have to rise.

(Deep breath)

If your state or city is staging any kind of protest, join in. Black out your Facebook and Twitter profile pictures. Let the world know that you're angry. I'm angry. Hurt, disappointed. This is a really dark time in America.

(Deep breath.)

It really hurts for me to say we should give Donald Trump a chance.

(Deep breath)

But this is what we've got. And I guess cry uncle, concede, and try again in the next four years.

I'm not saying you have to agree with the guy; I don't. We barely survived the Bush years. But Trump makes Bush look like a saint. I never thought I'd say this in a million years, but I'd rather than twelve years of Bush than one day of Trump, let alone four years.

To think that we're getting four to 8 years of this Donald Trump is unreal. But we have to fight back, peacefully or otherwise. We can't let Donald Trump win. We can't let hate win. We can't. Love trumps hate, despite what happened Tuesday. We have to fight back.

(Pause)

Four years from now, vote for whoever is running against Trump. Bernie Sanders, Hillary Clinton, me, or... even Kanye West.

(Deep breath)

Even he would be better than Trump, scary as it is.

(Long pause)

And these protests are just the beginning. Music, probably pop music, will likely turn political, like the music of the 60s and 70s. As far as movies, we'll probably still have superhero movies. We need them now more than ever. But we may also get the edgy 70s-style thrillers, political thrillers. Maybe.

We need to unite. We're not the Divided States of America, we're the United States of America.

(Pause)

And we can't let Donald Trump knock us down like this. Donald Trump will not make America great again. Whoever runs against him will.

And on that note, Bernie Sanders is not ruling out a 2020 run. We need somebody like him. We need somebody, anybody, to take on Trump. And it begins now.

(Pause)

I survived the Bush years. I survived the cancellation of Pushing Daisies. I survived the financial crisis, the recession. But this is on another level. This is an upset we can't take sitting down. Love must trump hate. And love must trump Trump.

This is PF4Eva with UnNews.