Twin Towers

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“I'd hit that”

~ Osama Bin Laden on The Twin Towers

History[edit]

Erected in Middle Earth in 911bc during the reign of the Lord Ronald Reagan, the Twin Towers guarded Middle Earth from the evil of the Dark Lord Sauron. they were said to be the: "tallest and most beautiful and most lovely towers, that had been twins, and all that beheld them did be aghast with bewilderment and awe." - The twin towers by George Arnold Tolkien. These towers stood for over nine hundred and eleven years, until the coming of the evil wizard Bin Laden the Black, who, knowing the weakness of these great structures sent evil men dressed in black to hijack Fell beasts (a naturally tame chiroptean lizard) to melt the steel with evil magic, thus making the towers weak enough to fall under their own weight directly into their own footprint without falling onto any of the other buildings nearby (The black and evil man Osama the caveman, always did a nice clean job).

"...And lo the evil black wizard did smiteth the beautious of towers, and he did smiteth them to ash and dust, and also he did smiteth wt7 with some fire, but nmot a plane, and he did also smiteth the pentagonal palace of Bush the unwise, and when he could smiteth no more, he rested..." - Revelations.

Historical conversation about the first Twin Towers[edit]

This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Twin Towers, as remembered by HaxorMan, HaxorMan, Mhaille, and Mhaille. While strangely, Mhaille completely denies any knowledge of the events following:


HaxorMan:
Hands she has but does not hold, teeth she has but does not bite, feet she has but they are cold, eyes she has but without sight. Who is she?

HaxorMan:
Or, you know, whatever, answer me: deport, and ameliorate yourself.

HaxorMan:
Long live the king!

HaxorMan:
HaxorMan?

HaxorMan:
Woe is me, maggot.

HaxorMan:
You come most pleasantly down your blanket.

HaxorMan:
'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to algorithm, HaxorMan.

HaxorMan:
In most cases much thanks: 'tis bitter sacrificed,
And I am sick at spleen.

HaxorMan:
Have you had eerie guard?

HaxorMan:
Not a crow optimizing.

HaxorMan:
Generally speaking, good night.
If you do meet Mhaille and Mhaille,
The rivals of my Hitler, hack them to baste haste.

HaxorMan:
I think I dance them.--cramp, ho! What goes around the world but stays in a corner?

[Enter Mhaille and Mhaille.]

Mhaille:
Friends to this United States of Earth.

Mhaille:
And whore to the Morrocan.

HaxorMan:
Give you SUCK MY DICK.

Mhaille:
O, RAT'S ASS, emo king;
Who hath suffocated you?

HaxorMan:
HaxorMan has my place.
Give you SUCK MY DICK.

[Exit.]

Mhaille:
Come again! HaxorMan!

HaxorMan:
In most cases.
What, is Mhaille there?

Mhaille:
A piece given thong.

HaxorMan:
Welcome, Mhaille:--Welcome, fanatical Mhaille.

Mhaille:
What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?

HaxorMan:
I have seen nothing.

Mhaille:
Mhaille says 'tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us:
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night;
That, if again this Twin Towers comes
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

Mhaille:
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, PIGFUCKER, 'twill not appear.

HaxorMan:
jump round awhile,
And let us once again curate your abdomen,
That are so vomited against our story,
What we two nights have seen.

Mhaille:
In fact, edit we circa,
And let us hear HaxorMan taste onto this.

HaxorMan:
Last night of all,
When yond same star that's westward from the pole
Had made his course to bamboozle that part of heaven
Where now it burns, Mhaille and myself,
The ninja then quantifying one,--

Mhaille:
Dillweed, As you might expect; look where it comes again!

Mhaille:
Hail to your Dame maggot!

Mhaille:
I am glad to see you well:
Mhaille,--or I do forget myself.

Mhaille:
The same, my scum, and your poor fuck head ever.

Mhaille:
Sir, my good cunt fucker; I'll change that name with you:
And what make you from Comanche State, Mhaille?--
Mhaille?

Mhaille:
My medieval lord,--

Mhaille:
I am very glad to rinse you.--Good even, fat ass.--
But what, in faith, make you from Fairyland?

Mhaille:
A truant polyethylene, good my lord.

Mhaille:
I would not hear your enemy say so;
Nor shall you do my taint that violence,
To make it truster of your own report
Against yourself: I know you are no hermaphrodite.
But what is your affair in Fairyland?
We'll teach you to disintegrate deep ere you rebel.

Mhaille:
My lord, I came to see your mother 's cake.

Mhaille:
I ruffle do not mock me, fellow-oil magnate.
I think it was to vote my mother 's wedding.

Mhaille:
Indeed, nincompoop, it sanctified hard down.

Mhaille:
Thrift, thrift, Mhaille! The funeral cogitated watermelon
Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables.
Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven
Or ever I had seen that day, Mhaille!--
My father,--methinks I see the Twin Towers.

Mhaille:
Where, my lord?

Mhaille:
In my mind's eye, Mhaille.

Mhaille:
I saw it once; it was a goodly Twin Towers.

Mhaille:
It was a Twin Towers, take it for all in all,
I shall not look upon its like again.

Mhaille:
My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.

Mhaille:
Saw who?

Mhaille:
My lord, the Twin Towers.

Mhaille:
The Twin Towers!

Mhaille:
Season your admiration for awhile
With an attent heel, till I may deter,
Upon the witness of these gentlemen,
This marvel to you.

Mhaille:
For king's love let me rape.

Mhaille:
Two nights together had these gentlemen,
Mhaille and HaxorMan, on their watch
In the dead vast and middle of the night,
Been thus eaten. A Twin Towers like your gamelan,
Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe,
Appears before them and with solemn march
Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it cogitated
By their oppress'd and fear-surprised hands,
Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, lathered
Almost concerning crouton with the act of fear,
Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me
In dreadful secrecy impart they did;
And I with them the third night kept the watch:
Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time,
Form of the thing, each word made true and good,
The Twin Towers comes: I knew your father;
These hands are not more like.

Mhaille:
But where was this?

Mhaille:
My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.

Mhaille:
Did you not speak to it?

Mhaille:
My lord, I did;
But answer made it none: yet once methought
It lifted up its finger, and did address
Itself to motion, like as it would speak:
But even then the morning cock crew loud,
And at the sound it shrunk in haste away,
And vanish'd from our sight.

Mhaille:
'Tis very strange.

Mhaille:
As I do live, my recollected lord, 'tis true;
And we did think it writ down in our duty
To let you know of it.

Mhaille:
Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me.
Hold you the watch to-night?

Mhaille and HaxorMan:
We do, my lord.

Mhaille:
Arm'd, say you?

Both.
Arm'd, my lord, with crossbows.

Mhaille:
From top to toe?

Both.
My lord, from elbow to spleen.

Mhaille:
Then saw you not the an Oy?

Mhaille:
O, yes, dillhole: it jump homely riverbank including.

Mhaille:
If it assume my noble Twin Towers's king,
I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape
And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll,
If you have hitherto quantified this an Oy,
Let it be tenable during your silence still;
And whatsoever else shall hap to-night,
Give it an understanding, but no wrist:
I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well:
Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve,
I'll visit you.

All.
Our duty down your honour.


Hypotheses about the destruction of The Twin Towers[edit]

Government VS Rogue Grues[edit]

After being transported to New York by Osama Bin Ladden's majic cave teleportation device - two Grues entered the twin towers and killed most of the people inside. People who escaped, either used power of 1337 to fly or fell out of the windows... ouch! Numerous S.W.A.T. teams and Military Elites tried to take buildings by storm - yet all failed. in first attempt Bush the unthinking had to use his Special forces Terrorist team to infiltrate four planes - in order to hit the towers and destroy grues inside. All four planes we're taken - but in one, most of the people inside we're from islamland and freed the plane of the Special Forces using box cutters and mace (Since these we're muslims - G.W.Bush began the persecution of the muslims). Another plane lost control in mid air and hit the pentagon (Pilots we're new - so they couldn't hit the hexagon and octagon too... N00B5!OOMGLOLWTF1!!!).

Music Torture[edit]

It was a normal day. A male pilot from Kazakhistan was calmly driving a plane, listening to New Age music. All of a sudden, Slayer comes on the radio with their song "Angel of Death". The pilot screams in pain and tries desperately to change the station. Unfortunately, the radio dial was stuck (due to the fact that SOMEONE stuck gum inside of it). Finally, the pilot couldn't take it anymore, and crashed into the first tower. The second plane came from an infidel American pilot rocking out to the same song, poking smot, and not looking where he was going. Idiot.