Trafficking

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Trafficking, or as it is so fondly known in Bengaluru (aka Bengalooroo, nee Bangalore), "SOMwair GYOwing"(bastardization of "going somewhere"), is a popular recreational activity indulged in by the inhabitants of large metropolitan cities. Trafficking (or, if you prefer, SOMwait GYOwing) involves hopping into an automotive vehicle (generally a car of some sort), backing out of your driveway, and getting in line with hundreds, if not thousands, of other people with the same intention - to look like they're in a hurry. This involves screaming, road rage, bellowing, slamming fists on the dashboard (where available), looking impatient, and generally making a complete and utter ass of yourself. It is important to note at this time that making a complete and utter ass of yourself is more important than all the rest put together.

Misuse of Trafficking[edit | edit source]

Trafficking is often misused by certain parties (including New Year's parties) for various nefarious purposes. These include: killing time, going places, murdering time, long talks with other people, and brutally murdering time, among other things. Some offenders include drugs and stolen goods(and occasionally bads), who really like to traffick a lot.

Sometimes, people also like to traffick people (ie. child trafficking) for various purposes. The Man generally looks upon this very poorly, often responding with arrests and prison sentences, not to be confused with long sentences, of which this is an example, or stupid sentences, of which the above are examples, or even abnormally long and stupid sentences, of which this (yet again) is an example.

Popular Reactions to Trafficking[edit | edit source]

Trafficking is generally seen as a nuisance by those poor pathetic people who actually have lives/jobs to go to, and a boon by those blessed souls who don't. The problem arises when these two interact, as can be seen in the very artistic piece of contemporary art to the right. This piece also gave Picaso's ghost the willies.

Very artistic contemporary art depicting a common scene of modern life that gave Picaso's ghost the willies.

However, not all trafficking has resulted in clashes; sometimes, the roads are filled with blessed souls who have no better work to get to, resulting in (regrettably) incident-free trafficking events.

(Regrettably) incident free trafficking.

Sadly enough, trafficking is still looked upon by The Man as an undesirable phenomenon, and roads are often undergoing the painful process of being enlarged (without anaesthetic) in order to accommodate more passengers. They are also giving birth to more roads at a record rate through techniques such as artificial insemination and popular demand. Many critics argue that this gives roads who already get more action a better chance of larger assets and more offshoots, while smaller and more neglected roads must remain content with what they have. Proponents call this Darwin's theory at work. Critics respond to this by saying that this could lead to evolution of roads into hyper-roads, which would then eat us up and make love with the streets. Proponents responded by inciting a vicious flame war with the critics in which they called them "stupid poopoo heads". Due to the nature of this most deadly of insults, the critics got very pissed and decided to finish off the proponents by killing them all. Halfway to the proponents' crack house, they were swallowed by an irritated developing hyper-road which was unsuccessfully hitting on a small street next to it. No one has heard of either party since, although reliable sources who like to point generally point to Black Jesus.