The emperor of Barbados
“We don't have a fucking emperor, we are another colony of those Pommy bastards. Sadly we never fought for our freedom and are ruled by the British crown. So I don't know who told you we had an Emperor but they had no idea what does on here.”
The emperor of Barbados is the name given to the monarch in charge of Barbados, who is in fact not an emperor nor is she female. She is Englands very own Queen Elizabeth II.[1] Although a a constitutional monarchy, Barbados has an emperor and like most emperor's he taxes all the peasants so he can live in a palace with gold furniture and other pointless life essentials.
Born in England, in 1926 the Emperor of Barbados is currently the only emperor empress to be born and to be living abroad, probably because its people are starving and she fears violent retribution or some such. She is arguably one of the worlds most successful monarchs, seeing as she rules 1 in 3 minor nations and 1 in 2 Hawaiian islands[2]
Birth[edit | edit source]
Like in most monarchies, it was a role she was born into. She literally owned everything in Barbados since the instant she was born, ever since it became captured by the British in the 1700s (back when they were capturing every nation that wasn't nailed down). The people didn't bother to take back their country and try and form a democratic republic, nor do they look as though they will do it in the near future.
Contributions[edit | edit source]
She was and presumably still is really kind to the people, unlike the previous idea that the biggest, baddest, smelliest warrior would take all the gold, women and booze for himself and rule the nation as Chief, as was the politics in many Caribbean islands. England, meant change and equality for the people, meaning every citizen was equally taxed out of every last bit of change they had. Elizabeth kept up this lovely tradition and pursuing the idea of elimination of all classes by making sure they all had equal assets.
She has since appointed a Governor general to mediate herself between the locals, probably some to be all those missing taxes. So since she "became too old to travel" as she puts it, she has done, well, nothing for Barbados other than continue to take their money without reason or choice involved.
Is this person actually real?[edit | edit source]
No, I mean yes, well maybe a bit of both.
Whilst the Queen of England certainly exists, she is not "technical" the Emperor of Barbados. But for the purposes of making this article not full of senseless rambling I will say yes she is. As for the matter of her existence, this is easily explained, the phenomena of having the Queen of England actually existing was rumored to be utter shite, but she certainly exists according to several million eyewitness accounts and billions of dollars worth of gold disappearing in several of the British colonies around the world.
References[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Thanks Shabidoo now I have to bullshit about their being an Emperor for an entire article.
- ↑ lol, America can't touch dis