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Suddenly, Raccoons

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One splendid afternoon, basketball superstar Michael Jordan slipped on a pair of loafers, some cool slacks, and what appears to be a Timex. "What a fine day!" exclaimed Mr. Jordan. "I think I shall chomp on a cigar whilst bouncing, or 'dribbling,' a basketball very close to the floor!"

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Mr. Jordan was pleased with himself. "What a fine day!" he repeated, exclamatorily. "I certainly hope my splendid afternoon isn't interrupted by some kind of annoying nocturnal omnivor-"

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Cream of the Crap
This article was one of the Uncyclopedia:Top 10 Articles of 2010
Top 10 articles of 2010
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Featured version: 23 July 2010
This article was featured on Uncyclopedia's front page when SUDDENLY, RACCOONS!
You can get your own raccoons at Uncyclopedia:VFHTemplate:FA/23 July 2010Template:FA/2010Template:FQ/23 July 2010Template:FQ/2010