The Larry Sanders Show
|Created by||Claire Danes|
|Country of origin||Claire Danes|
|No. of seasons||Claire Danes|
Carrie Mathison – The Blonde One
You folks see that flashy logo up there?
Now, that logo says: Uncle Pedophilia!
...No, no, I'm kidding, it says:
Do me a favor, can you click that once?
Now, remember, you're all a big part of the show, so the better you are, the better the article is.
Okay now, you see this text? There's a title under it which means that we're on in 10 seconds, so...
Get ready to have a good time!
Alright, here we go.
This is exciting, isn't it?
Five, four, three, two...
Live, straight from The Internet, The Larry Sanders Show! Tonight, join Larry and his guests, Claire Danes, Claire Danes, Claire Danes and me, "Hey Now" Hank Kingsley! And now, because only he can bring out the natural beauty of Mandy Patinkin, Larryyyyyy Sanders!
Thank you! Good to know you're not watching my competition. Tonight we're having Claire Danes! What do you think about that, Hank?
My thoughts exactly! Well, Artie tells me we should cut straight to the interviews.
I see that makes you happy, Hank.
Do we need to call Homeland Security first, Hank, or is that alright?
Please welcome our first, second and third guest for tonight, Claire Danes!
So Claire, I understand that the last Homeland left you completely helpless.
Yes, Mandy Patinkin pretty much took over my work life and my love life. But at least I get to take care of my daughter on my own now.
Wait, I think Hank thought you said you are on your own now, so that's why he's smiling. Hank, you do realize we are talking about the character in the show Homeland and not about Claire, right?
I don't think he does.
Hank, this is the actress Claire Danes. She plays Carrie in the show Homeland. She also played John Connor's wife in Terminator 3.
- Eternal sunshine.
Yes, and also the blonde chick from Eternal Sunshine. Thank you, Artie.
That wasn't me actually.
With all the respect, Miss Danes, I think you are mistaken. You were that chick who fucked with Jim Carrey's brain.
No, that was Kirsten Dunst.
I'm pretty sure it was you. Are you even taking those pills your sister gave you?
Do you know what chandeling is, Garry?
My name is Larry.
It's when you hang someone upside down from the ceiling like a fucking chandelier. Let me show you, Garry.
- Carrie, it's Zed. Please don't do anything stupid or my alien identity will be revealed. You can take it out on Hank.
Hey now. I wish I would watch that Homoland show more often. I was this close to Spider-kiss that chick, until she cut my balls off.
- For fuck's sake, Hank...