The Goodies

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The three Goodies perform The Full Monty in 2002. The full image is too terrifying to show on Uncyclopedia.

“We're the Goodies, and we're going to do good to people”

~ Tim Brooke-Taylor on Humility

“Goodie Goodie Yum Yum”

~ Oscar Wilde on Bill Oddie's cock

“Daddy I want to watch the Goodies”

~ Australian kid on The Goodies

“Thank God, someone on TV even less funny than we are”

~ Everyone who was ever on Mock the Week or Live at the Apollo

The Goodies were two British men and one (hideously disfigured, yet strangely narcissistic) bearded dwarf committed to raising awareness about the threat of environmental degradation from rampant capitalism, nuclear war and the myth of global warming. Tim Brooke-Taylor, Graeme Garden and Billie Oddball documented their environmental activism in a weekly television series on the BBC.

A meeting of minds at Cambridge University[edit | edit source]

The two studious young men and the young (but nevertheless bearded) humped back dwarf met at Cambridge University in the 1960s. Graeme Garden was reading economics, Billie Oddball was learning how to make miniature iron axes in a forge. And Tim Brooke-Taylor was reading The Dandy. They were concerned at the apathy of their generation, who were more interested in supporting the economy through the production and distribution of illicit substances than preserving the environment for the next generation.

The Goodies: The Series[edit | edit source]

Billie Oddball and Graham Garden do their best for the environment and end up destroying mankind.

2001: A Bill Oddiesy[edit | edit source]

In 1969 Garden approached his "Uncle" who was Minister for Broadcasting at that time. He told "Uncle" Humphrey that he would like to film a serious-minded series on environmental science with his two university chums. Since "Uncle" Humphrey was particularly eager not to meet Garden's father while in a compromising situation with Garden's mother, he ensured that Garden got his way. The first episode screened in late 1970, and featured Graeme Garden, Billie Oddball and Tim Brooke-Taylor serious-mindedly climbing an ancient oak tree to protect it from unscrupulous housing developers. The episode received critical acclaim, with audiences falling out of their chairs with amusement. Graeme Garden was reported to have said, "But it's not a comedy." Tim Brooke-Taylor said, "What the hell."

Popularity[edit | edit source]

The series was a hit with the British public. Garden continued to insist this was a serious programme, and introduced such important environmental issues as nuclear kitten mutation, the plight of the gibbon and the use of human-powered clean transportation (trandem bicycles). The public continued to wonder whether or not to laugh until the end of the series in 1982. The show was not free of other controversies, including an episode in 1975 dedicated to an "oop norf, like" variation of origami, which was so painfully unfunny it caused one viewer to die of boredom.

The Goodies Reunion[edit | edit source]

In the early 2000s the three found they were a bit short of cash. Billie Oddball had given all his money to a fraudulent charity claiming to support the preservation of field mice. Graeme Garden had invested and lost all his money in high profile energy company Enron. And Tim Brooke-Taylor hadn't done anything except read The Beano at the University of St. Andrews since the series ended. They decided to join together for one last, money raising performance, but found that environmental issues were no longer considered funny and the BBC was not keen. Undeterred they were determined to raise enough cash to buy a villa in Tenerife. As a compromise they departed from their usual format and their final reunion was a performance of The Full Monty, which aired live in November 2002.

Where are they now?[edit | edit source]

Graeme Garden is at the tailors. Tim Brooke Taylor is in the garden. And Billie Oddball was last seen in one of the Lord of the Rings films, but you have to look really closely.