That time I was nearly raped by Ham after my sojourn through the deluge
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Verily, that fucking thing was huge. Like, WTF?
So there I was[edit | edit source]
tabernacling in the fucking wilderness, doing my Noah thing with the postdiluvian shit and two of every animal, right? Like, biblical badass shit.
and my fucking youngest son Ham[edit | edit source]
bursteth out of the tent, musketh all over the place, and instead of going for the sheep, he looketh upon my nakedness.
so I pulled out my[edit | edit source]
staff and curse the shit out of him and his descendants to be the slaves of Shem and Japeth, and he tryeth to mount me! WTF?
I barely got away with a major sinistral external abrasion and a severed brachialis radial.
No, seriously. He nearly raped me.