Talk:New Cooler Edition

Holy crap this is funny...--<<>> 21:36, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

A couple of ideas you can take or leave as you see fit.

• The Isrealites being taken prisoner by alien invaders, and must fight their way back to Earth.
• JC going into outer space to find a way to defeat Satan.
• Paul returning the ring of power to Rome to cast into mount Doom.
• Revelation being written entirely in code that can only be deciphered with a Bible decoder ring.

I'll add more as I think of them.--<<>> 21:52, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Have at it, man. I'm running low on ideas, and I think there's enough here for me to release it into the public for editting! =) Rad 22:00, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

And the epic battle between me and my laziness begins once again...--<<>> 22:02, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Some more ideas:

• Samson being exposed to gamma rays by God, and turns green and gets really strong when he gets angry. Takes on a whole army of Philistines when they try to make fun of him for being weak and puny, then he gets angry, Hulks out, and smashes them.
• Jesus growing up and being taught by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in how to be a Ninja. Jesus becomes so powerful that he converts to pacifism to avoid splitting the world in half with one of his kicks. Jesus then teaches Chuck Norris to become the defender of the Earth and all good things as a replacement for Jesus. Before he knew Jesus, Chuck Norris was a 98 pound weakling that was bullied around by everyone and had no confidence, until Jesus trained him in Karate to become a champion with big muscles.
• Paul writing emails to the churches warning them about the rings that Judas gave them. That the one true ring that Judas wore needs to be taken and destroyed in the fires of Mount Doom, like above. Paul returns the ring after Judas was defeated, but uses a Hobbit named Bilbo to carry it, later on Frodo takes the ring from his Uncle Bilbo. Paul the Grey gathers a Fellowship to take the ring to Mount Doom. Not knowing that Judas, while dead, still has influence on the user of the ring.

--Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 06:23, 2 January 2007 (UTC)

My Changes

I did some extensive editing. I think the article's pretty good so far, but I'd like to see more of it go blatantly against Christian doctrine, in an attempt to "sell" Christianity. I think that's the key the humor, having a kid's Bible that completely contradicts real Christian teaching, as so many watered down "Bibles" do. But I too sort of ran out of ideas. I'll come back to it though, hopefully with some better stuff. --Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 00:57, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Looks good so far. I think the main key is keeping with the tone, which your edits have.--<<>> 01:09, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

I think someone should make an acual book called Bible:Newer Cooler Edition

I just created a link in Holy Bible: Revised Neocon Edition and Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition to this article. I made a redirect at Holy Bible: New Cooler Edition to link to here. Weri and I were going to create an Holy Bible: Revised Atheist Edition with the name of books like "The Book of Complex Numbers" and things like that. We need a main list of the bible parodies we have on Uncyclopedia or something. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 06:11, 2 January 2007 (UTC)