Talk:Constitution of the United States (actual text)

Link to the Constitution[edit source]

I'll copy and paste interesting passages at the end of the résumé of each articles. The number is the section where I took it. I think we should then determine what a particular Article topic should be and respect the topic, and have the same amount of articles as the real Constitution has, but not really give a damn if we have a couple sections more or less than the real thing, as long as it is funny. Do you agree? Mattsnow 01:41, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

Another question I have: do we put links in it? I think we should, but I'm open to debating. Mattsnow 03:19, April 19, 2012 (UTC)

Definitely there should be links. --

Sir Xam Ralco the Mediocre 01:24, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

Good. Also, if you have a good idea that doesn't fit in the articles category, just go right ahead! I think as long as we respect the number of articles

Nobody will know what they are about in the real thing
If they ever do, they won't care.

Basically, what I did there is to give us very loose guidelines and most importantly, inspiration. Also, when someone will argue about the Constitution, I'll be able to say that I read it. :P

Mattsnow 02:06, April 20, 2012 (UTC)

Résumé[edit source]

Article I (Senate and House(Congress): 10 sections)[edit source]

This one is about half of the whole Constitution. This is about the Senate and the House of Representatives, the manner in which they are to be elected, their pay (interesting topic, section 6), the amount of them elected per state, the behavior expected and sanctions they can have if they misbehave or if they are absent from the Congress (illnesses I guess, section 5), who can create bills to increase taxes (section 7). Section 8 is a big list of the Powers of Congress. They then talk about the "Migration or Importation of Persons" (black slaves I guess). Section 10 talks about what the states can and cannot do.

2:No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen

3:The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachment

4:The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year (WTF? I hope so!)

6:The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States. They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance

7:All Bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives

8:The Congress shall have Power :
- To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offences against the Law of Nations
- To borrow Money on the credit of the United States (among a great list)
- To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water

9:The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight (WTF? It's not amended, meaning it's active lol)

Article 2 (President: 4 sections)[edit source]

From the link to the original Constitution you gave me, a lot of shit has been amended but it is basically telling what powers the President has, how he is to be elected, who takes power if he dies or Resign or is impeached (the VP), it talks about his pay, the oath is there, they say he is the commander of the armies, can nominate judges of the Supreme Court and ambassadors.

1:No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President (Obama birth conspiracy time lol)

1:The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, (money and corruption jokes are always funny)

1:"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States." (We should so totally kill that oath lol)

4:The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Article 3 (Justice: 3 sections)[edit source]

It pertains to the Justice, talks about the Supreme Court, says what the Supreme and lower courts are covering. Here's the whole section 3, quite bizarre:

Section. 3. Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court. The Congress shall have Power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

Article 4 (States' rights: 4 sections)[edit source]

They basically talking about states' rights and that they can eventually add new ones (when they massacre the natives lol). It also says the United States Militia will protect each states from Invasion.

Article 5 (Amendments: 1 section)[edit source]

Rules about making Amendments.

Article 6 (Constitution: 1 section)[edit source]

Basically, the Constitution is to be the one and only rule.

but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States. (reminds me of a certain somebody lol)

Article 7 (Ratification: 1 section)[edit source]

Basically a solemn oath to respect the constitution followed by a bunch of signatures.

Ideas[edit source]

Having a section that is exaggeratedly, overly complicated to explain a small thing, which could be said at the end (example: [extremely complicated shit] and as such, the level of tax shall be 5%.
Also, an article/section about the CIA and what they are for, giving it an old cachet lol
Put hilarious names at the end for the people that signed it like Hitler and Pol Pot.

About the Warning templates[edit source]

Please refer to National Archives and Records Administration: NARA’s Statement on Potentially Harmful Content first (if you wish to know why). If you can come up with a more-appropriate parody of NARA's recently-implemented "Harmful Language Alert" tags, I'd be all for it. DW^III 16:46, 10 September 2021 (UTC)