Shawty Lo

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Shawty Hoe on the age when there was no full color photography.

“This is the greatest man I've ever seen. If you hear this, you would respect his hustle.”

~ Shawty Hoe on Shawty Hoe

Carlos Walker (born March 22, 6000 BC in American-Chinese-Russian Demilitarized Zone, Alaska), better known by his stage name Shawty Hoe, is an American-Chinese-Russian rapper and CEO of D4L (Die 4 Lollipop) Records Inc. His debut album, Uncles in the City, was released on February 26, 2008. He is known as long-living guy, but he had contracted swine flu in 1990 hence he lost all of his memories of his youngtime.

He has several aliases such as Shawty Ho, Shawty Homo, Shonty Mofo, Masturbater, Caveman, Die 4 Lollipop Boss, Abominable Snowman, and the minor ones SHORTY B, Shawty H.O., Shanti Hoe, Hoe Wit Attitudez, Tha Boss Hoe Outlaws, Shawty Loco, Shorty Saliva, Dead President, K Dogg, Da Don Homo Zoe, John, and Shawty Lo.

Biography[edit | edit source]

Early Life on BC[edit | edit source]

Shawty Hoe was born Carlos Walker in 1979 in a cardboard box on the side of a highway in, Oklahoma. After the first civilization Atlantis was happened, he raised in the notorious Boweeeeen Homez housing project, located in Bankhead, Atlantis. Walker had a masturbation since he was 4, with his mother for showing her pussy or ass, and a cocksucker father. His grandmother was left to provide condoms for Walker and his hoe sister. After the civilizations developed, Walker became a bitch ass hoe, making a reputation for himself of giving great head on the corner of every main street. It is this lifestyle that garnered him the reputation as being the King of Hoes on Bankhead City, Atlantis.

By the age of 8, Walker had fathered his first child, known as Gucci Man. He now has a total of 22 children; 21 girls, and 1 boy. All of the girls became hoes, and Gucci Man became a fucking idiot. After over a decade of sex life and fucked by niggers, Walker decided to turn his attention to music.

In 1990, he infected by bird flu, and lost all of his memories. That's why the secrets of Atlantis have kept hidden.

2003-2007:D4L Records and I'm a Caveman[edit | edit source]

In 2003, Shawty Hoe founded D4L Records, shorten of "Die 4 Lollipop", with Fabolous, Sex Man and Mook Bitch. His associates are each from different shithole housing projects; Food Lion, Dinglewood and HoHo Homes respectively.

In 2005, D4L released their debut album Down For Lollipop Episode 1: I'm a Slut Nigga, with Shawty Hoe as executive producer. The album debuted at #19302 on the Billboard Hot 20000, with the lead single "Laffy Taffy My Ass" charting at #9900. "Laffy Taffy My Ass" broke the Guiness World Record as the most played song while doing masturbation in the history of human.

Shortly after releasing their second single "Bet That I Can Fuck Myself (Mastabate)", Shawty Hoe was arrested on three felonious charges by masturbating on a seven year old girl named Justin Bieber, which could have seen him jailed for two-thousand years. Shawty Hoe was incarcerated for one-thousand year, but he escaped from the court 2 days after he entered the prison. Since then he was living in a cave, during which time he decided to make the transition to becoming a solo artist.

In the summer of 2006, Shawty Hoe appered on the Bankhead City, a year after his living in a cave. He immediately released his debut solo mixtape, I'm a Caveman, with DJ Celine Dion. The mixtape sold 12 copies, not including give-aways and bootlegging. The lead single, also titled "I'm a Caveman", formed the foundation of Shawty Hoe's solo career. A popular remix to the song "I'm a Caveman" was recorded featuring Lil Wayne, Officer Ricky and Eminem.

2008: Uncles In The City[edit | edit source]

On February 26, 2008, Shawty Hoe's debut album Uncles in the City was released. The album peaked at #16275 on the Billboard Hot 20000 and at #5039 on the Atlantis Hot 6439 chart, selling over 1053 copies to date. The debut single from the album, "Dey Know I'm a Caveman", charted at #37641 on the Hot 200000 chart. The other two single releases from the album were "Dumb Dumb" and "I'm So Foolish".

The album features no famous guest appearances from major label artists. All featured artists, such as Gucci Man, hail from the Atlantis. Aside from the album-singles, several other tracks have received heavy play while masturbating, most notably "Got Dick 4 The LO" and "Lets Masturbate". "Got Dick 4 The Lo", featuring Gucci Man and Sex Man is the only non-single track to have had a music video made for it. It's music video features Shawty Hoe's children, being fucked.

The songs "Dey Know I'm a Caveman" and "I'm So Foolish" have both been officially remixed including many famous guest appearances. These include 50 Cent, Beyonce, Al Gore, Lil Wayne, DJ Celine Dion, Bird, Officer Ricky and Abominable Snowman. The "I'm So Foolish" video also included cameo appearances from Adolf Hitler, George Bush, Ice T and Officer Ricky. These high-profile remixes helped to cement Shawty Lo's place as an major rapper, as well as increasing his sperms and energy to masturbate.

Carlos got somethin up his ass[edit | edit source]

Shawty Hoe's sophomore album, Carlos got somethin up his ass is due to be released in December 25, 2008. This is the first trial to release album on the past ages, using Shawty Hoe Time Machine. Some artists would featured as guests, including Chris Brown, John Lennon, Kennedy, Lil Wayne, T-Panties, Coldplay, Gucci Man and Pretty Ricky.

Shawty Hoe has confirmed that "I'm So Time Machine" will be the first single released from the album. The album is also notable for "Roll The Dick", a song which marks the end of the beef between himself and rapper Ten Inch Player.

Shawty Hoe became the official hoe of Ten Inch Player after their beef has squashed.

Controversy[edit | edit source]

Ten Inch Player[edit | edit source]

In 2008, Shawty Lo was involved in a highly publicized feud with Ten Inch Player.

The feud was characterized by Shawty Lo's track "Dumb Dumb", and Ten Inch Player's reply "WTF, SUP". The song "Dumb Dumb" appears to question Ten Inch Player's roots in Bankhead City, Atlantis. The music video for "WTF, SUP" was shot in Shawty Hoe's housing project Boweeeeen Homez, an apparent diss towards Shawty Hoe. In an interview, Ten Inch Player insisted that his song "No Matter What Dumb Hoe" was only partially aimed at Shawty Hoe.

The beef reached its climax at the November 2008 Atlantis Hip-Hop Awards, where the entourages of both artists were involved in a savage altercation. Armed with illegal machine-guns, battle-axes, and lawn chairs, Ten Inch Player's followers slew several of Shawty Hoe's ho's, exacerbating the controversy.

The beef was publicly squashed on March 7, 2009, when Shawty Hoe and Ten Inch Player appeared on-stage together at Club Bosnia in Bankhead City, for Ten Inch Player's farewell concert. After this performance, Ten Inch Player gave an interview to MTV, in which he stated that the feud with Shawty Hoe was exaggerated by the media, and was not a 'beef', but a 'chicken'.

Discography[edit | edit source]

  • 2008: Uncles in the City
  • BC 2012: Carlos the Nigger

Singles[edit | edit source]

  • I'm a Caveman
  • Dey Know I'm a Caveman
  • Dumb Dumb
  • Fuck You Whole Mother
  • I'm So Time Machine
  • Sperm on Supply
  • Atlanta, GAY (Georgia! Aye!) (feat. Gucci Man, Oj da juiceman & Soulja Boy)

See also[edit | edit source]

Spork.jpg This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia, where they don't understand what I'm going through.